Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I Feel the Spirit Swelling In Me (at least I think it's the spirit)

So I'm sitting here watching the Victoria's Secret fashion show. Yes, scandalous, I know. Anyway, while doing so, I have had an epiphany. This is truly the reason that God invented High Definition Television.

I mean, really, who else besides the Lord could be responsible for such a marvel. It's right there in the Bible. "On the seventh day, God kicked back with his 52 inch plasma screen." It's just always been mistranslated, mostly because the ancient Hebrew scholars had never heard of such a thing.

God created the HDTV so that we could see every sequin, feather, and bit of lace on the sexiest woman alive (Adriana Lima) and all of her friends. It's all so clear in my mind. I must spread this message to the masses. It all starts here. Now I just need to find some disciples. And they'll have to look good in a thong.


Anonymous Hoser said...

Damn the Jews for not translating this properly.

I bet that Eve really didn't convince Adam to eat the apple of the Tree of Life either. I bet what really happened (and also got mistranslated) is that God was watching "The Best of Eve: Shower Scenes" on the 52" plasma and Adam walked in and saw the Holy of Holies.

The things they leave out of the Bible these days...

12/13/2005 09:42:00 AM  

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