Wiley-Style

Security Update

2011-06-18T13:05:00.001-05:00

So it looks like an old Yahoo email address that I haven't used in 5 years was broken into last night. Almost none of the addresses in it were current. But if you did get an email from me advising you to stop smoking, while I agree with the sentiment, I would strongly recommend against clicking on the associated link.

So no real harm, but the interesting thing to me is how the spammer got in. Like I said, I haven't used the account in years, and probably haven't logged into any other yahoo service in many months. I also don't use that username and password for anything else. So I doubt it was any kind of keystroke logging malware. Also, since it is a unique password, it wasn't leaked out from some other website with lax security. That really leaves only two possibilities. They got in through some flaw in Yahoo, which I strongly doubt. Or, more likely, they guessed the password.

The password I used is actually one I would still consider moderately strong. It is 8 characters, not a dictionary word, and includes numbers. No capital letters or symbols, but still, pretty decent. I use passwords of similar strength for pretty much everything else I do log into on a regular basis. So I guess I'm going to have to step up my game. Maybe break down and use some kind of password management service.

Anyway, let this be a fair warning to everyone. I like to think I know what I'm doing in terms of computer security and things like this can still happen to me. Be careful out there.

Hypocrisy

2009-08-02T10:35:00.001-05:00

I was watching “The Sports Reporters” this morning on ESPN. For those who are unfamiliar with the show, a panel of 4 reporters sit in a round-table format and debate 3 pressing issues in the sporting world. Two of this week’s stories caught my attention for their similarities (in my view) and how different the reporters’ reactions to them was.

Story A was drawn from a very common pool for this show, the blight of steroids in Major League Baseball. Story B stuck with baseball, being about how the Yankees were barely holding on to first place despite how much money they had spent building their roster, the type of story I normally tune out for. But what really caught my attention was the last story. Story C was about swimmer Michael Phelps losing to Paul Biedermann and especially the effect that Biedermann’s new speedsuit had on the race. But the reporters made light of the subject, joking about how “maybe they should swim naked” and “since when do swimmers get to trash talk about swimsuits”. I really feel that they missed the bigger point. That being:

Story A and Story C are really the same story.

Both are example of better competing through science. Why is one okay but the other not? Why can swimmers wear body suits that let them cut through the water with almost no friction? Why can bicyclers ride bikes made of space-age, almost weightless materials that let them power up steep hills like nothing? Why can golfers have clubs with giant heads (and equally giant sweet spots) that let them rip at balls harder with less penalty than anyone in history?

Okay, you say, but there is a difference between equipment and things that change your body. I will accept that with one caveat. The biggest argument that the anti-steroid crowd uses is the sanctity of the historical records. That argument has to be given up if you are going to say that it is legit for old records to be beaten by new technology.

So let’s talk about things that affect the body. Diets and workout techniques are scientifically designed to maximize performance and allow athletes to compete for much longer careers. Surgical and rehabilitational advancements allow people recover from injuries and other health conditions more quickly and with less long term effects. In fact there are some surgeries, such as the Tommy John’s procedure common among baseball pitchers, that can actually improve performance.

So my question is, why is a surgical procedure that allows an athlete to return to the field faster a great and wonderful thing, but pharmaceutical techniques that do the same thing verboten?

Long term health effects? Well, I have two responses to that. The first is simply to ask Andre Agassi about his knees. Athletes put tremendous amount of strain on their bodies, causing long term health effects no matter what. My second response is a little bit more nebulous and hard to prove, but it is something that I absolutely believe.

I believe that steroids’ negative health effects arise in large part because they are illegal. If they were administered by a team doctor with a full knowledge of the athlete’s medical history instead of in a shady back room, the athlete would be much better off.

My last point is to take a minute and think about the future. One of the largest areas of active research in the pharmaceutical industry is the development of anti-aging drugs. It is simply naive to think that some of the drugs that come out of this field will not be “performance enhancing” for athletes. So the question then will be why is it illegal for athletes to use drugs which will be available to the general population? And what will happen when a naked amateur swimmer beats Michael Phelps no matter what kind of swimsuit he’s wearing?

Getting the Shot

2009-07-03T11:23:00.001-05:00

The following is a tale of patience, perseverance, forethought, math, and celestial mechanics.

A few months ago, for an undisclosed reason, I decided that I needed a very specific photograph of Samford Hall on the Auburn campus. This photo had to be taken from a particular angle. It also had to be taken at night. And, to compound matter, I decided that it would make an even more interesting picture if the moon was tucked neatly between the two towers of Samford.

To begin with, I wasn’t even sure if such a celestial alignment ever occurred. And if it was something that occurred, when and how often? So I began educating myself about the habits of our closest neighbor.

The moon orbits Earth about the solar elliptic (an oddity as most other moons orbit about the equator of their planet) with an inclination of around 5 degrees. Because it orbits about the solar elliptic, the position of the moon in the sky is highly dependent on the season. And because of the 5 degree inclination and 27.3 day orbit, the path through the sky varies quite a bit over the course of the month as well. But, thankfully, I found a handy tool published by the US Navy that gave me the azimuth angle of sunrise, sunset and the angle of the height of the transit point, as well at the times of these occurrences. This was enough information for me to calculate the position of the moon at any time of the night.

But being able to calculate the position of the moon at any time wasn’t what I really wanted. I needed to know when the moon would pass through a specific spot in the sky. So I needed to know what that position was. Google Earth told me that the position that I was going to shoot from was 200 feet from the front steps of Samford Hall. And Wikipedia tells me that the height of the taller spire is 170 ft. and the roof is 154. Simple trigonometry tells me that I need to take my picture when the moon is at a height of between 36 and 40 degrees above the horizon. Google Earth also told me that the heading from my vantage to the left tower was 222 degrees from north, while the right tower was 230.

So that was my target. A box in the sky bounded by those four lines. I chose the center point, 38 degrees above the horizon and 226 degrees from north.

So I plugged the navy data into a spreadsheet and began breaking the nightly lunar path down into its horizontal and vertical components. The vertical was easy enough. I simply took the percentage 38 was of 90 (the vertical component of transit) and applied that to the time difference between transit and moonset. This would be the time each day that the moon would be 38 degrees above the horizon. For the horizontal component, I first took horizontal component of the angle of transit (again, trigonometry). I subtracted this from the azimuth of moonset. Then, if 226 fell between those two numbers (which it often didn’t), I took its percentage and applied it to the time difference between transit and moonset as well. This gave me the time that the moon would pass through the 226 azimuth.

I calculated these figures out until the end of the year, and then began looking for nights in which these two times were very close together. It turned out that there are 2 or 3 consecutive nights each lunar orbit with the opportunity to get a good shot. My first opportunity came in mid May, but it was too cloudy every night to get a good shot. My second chance came again in early June, but one night it was again to cloudy, then the next night the conjunction occurred very late at night and I couldn’t stay up because of work the next morning.

But my 3rd chance came this last week. By my calculations, Tuesday June 30 at 10:03 PM was my best opportunity. I went out with my camera, but discovered that my calculations were a little off. The moon was directly behind the Samford Bell Tower. I waited half an hour and got a shot of the moon after it had passed to right of the tower, but this was not quite what I wanted.

So, the next night at 11:20 I was back out there again. And, well, you can see the results for yourself.

HTPC

2009-05-03T16:45:00.001-05:00

As an off and on project for the last three years or so, I have been building a home theater PC. I have had very many ups and downs with this projects, false starts and missteps, and I have spent much more money than I intended. But I have been quite happily using the final product for about three months now, and am ready to tell anyone who might be interested the full story for your entertainment and education.

When I first moved back into my tiny Auburn apartment, I decided to hook my desktop computer up to my HDTV. I would game and watch downloaded videos on that setup while using my laptop for web browsing and school work. I stuck with it for about six months, but eventually decided that using a mouse and keyboard for gaming while sitting on the couch wasn’t very fun. I also missed having a full-sized monitor while sitting at my desk. So I moved my desktop back to my desk.

But I did miss being able to watch downloaded videos and ripped DVD’s on my big TV. So I bought a PC enclosure that matched my home theater components and stuck some old PC parts into it. Now I officially had an HTPC. Since it was older hardware, I stuck Windows XP on it and used a program called Media Portal as my HTPC software, a nice open source package that can handle just about any video format you can throw at it.

It was about this time that I discovered the dirty little secret that your cable company doesn’t want you to know about. They want you to believe that to get HD channels you have to buy their very expensive digital HD package. Throw in their DVR service and you’re paying $100 or more a month for cable. However in most cases you can pick up most non-premium HD channels with even basic cable, as long as your television has the right kind of tuner (called QAM). Most modern HDTVs have these QAM tuners, but I had been an early adopter and mine didn’t have one. But you can buy a QAM tuner for your computer, and as I just happened to have a computer to put one in. I thought that sounded like a fantastic idea.

So I quickly downgraded my cable package and ordered the Hauppauge 1600. This card is a dual tuner, with one tuner that can pick up QAM or ATSC (over the air HD) signals, and another that picks up normal SD cable. (As an aside, you had to be careful when you bought this particular card because there were actually two different product numbers with the same name, one which was ATSC-only and the other which was ATSC/QAM. This isn’t an issue any more because there are better cards available, which I’ll get to in a moment.) After installing it in my computer, I quickly ran into a problem. While it performed well tuning regular cable TV, the old processor just wasn’t powerful enough to handle the HD. At first I tried just upgrading the processor, but even the fastest one that my motherboard could handle wouldn’t cut it (I didn’t have high hopes that it would, but I found one for 15 bucks on eBay and figured it was worth a shot). So I decided to upgrade the whole computer.

I decided that pretty much any modern hardware would be good enough, so my target was for everything to be cool and quiet. I went with an AMD Phenom 9150e processor, which was is a low power quad-core, which I figured would be good for encoding while ripping DVDs. I plugged it into an nForce 750A motherboard, which has a built-in Nvidia 8300 video card with HDMI-out, which I though would be fantastic for a HTPC. This allowed me to go without a discreet video card which would keep things cooler and quieter. I finished it off with RAM and a 1TB hard drive. After all of these pieces came it, I assembled them and plugged in my TV tuner. For an operating system, I went with Vista Ultimate because I wanted to use Vista’s Media Center, which I knew would tie in well with my X-Box 360. Media Center will record TV, as well as play media from your video and music libraries. I had to install several video codecs to get it to play all of my media files (which Media Portal hadn’t had a problem with), but I’m geeky enough that it didn’t take long to sort things out.

There was still a problem, however. Media Center didn’t get along well with my Hauppauge tuner. It wouldn’t accept the fact that it was an ATSC/QAM combo tuner, only recognizing the ATSC part. While I could pick up CBS and NBC in HD over-the-air, I knew that I would be missing FOX, ABC, and the 2 ESPNs. Through research, I learned that there was an update for Vista Media Center that would fix my problems. There was only one problem. The update, codenamed Fiji, would not be released to the general public. It was only made available to companies that manufactured pre-built HTPCs. I thought this was a ridiculous policy. So, being a person of many resources, I managed to track down a copy of this update. After installing Fiji, Media Center recognized my tuner, detected the channels, and everything was great. Except for one other problem. Vista would not recognize the remote control that had come with my Hauppauge tuner. Having to use a mouse or keyboard was extremely frustrating. However, as I mentioned above, the reason I had chosen Media Center was because of its tight integration with my X-Box 360, which I did have a remote control for (a Logitech Harmony 360, which I love). So, for the next several months I watched TV through my 360. This kind of defeated the purpose of the motherboard that I had chosen, but it was a working solution.

Using my 360 as a Media Center extender became frustrating after a while, however. This was chiefly due to its very long boot-up time. It took nearly a minute from sitting down on the couch before I could actually watch television. So I began looking for a new remote which would work with Vista (actually, all I needed was a remote receiver, because I would program it to work with my Harmony). Because I didn’t care about the remote itself, I wanted to go as cheaply as possible. I just didn’t find a lot of good solutions, though. What I did come across, however, was that Hauppauge had a new line of tuner out to replace the 1600. And the new 1800 came with a remote that was designed to work with Vista Media Center. This would also allow me to have a 2nd HD tuner, which would let me watch one HD channel while recording on another (previously, if I was recording in HD, I had to watch another channel in SD). This sounded great to me, so I ordered one. I enjoyed the dual tuners (actually 2 HD and 2 SD), but there was one little hiccup with the remote.

After I started using the HTPC primarily, I started noticing some weird things happening with my X-Box 360. It would randomly turn on, and when I switched my video input over, it would buried deep in some menu. And sometimes it would randomly schedule recording. After putting aside the notion that it was haunted and angry at me for ignoring it, I came to realize that the Media Center remote used some of the same IR signals as the X-Box 360. This actually made me really angry, since they are both Microsoft products. The only way around it was for me to put electrical tape over the IR port on my 360. This meant I could no longer use my Harmony with my 360, but since I wouldn’t be watching videos or TV on it anymore, that would be OK.

But I had been using my 360 as a DVD player as well. Since I didn’t want to have to use my X-Box controller for watching DVDs, I decided to move my DVD watching to my HTPC as well. But, not content just to put in a DVD drive and be done with it, I thought it would be a great opportunity to jump on the Blu-Ray bandwagon. So I bought a Blu-Ray drive and installed it in the system. For Blu-ray playing software I decided to go with Arcsoft’s TotalMedia Theatre because it works as a plug-in for Media Center, unlike every other player which you must run stand-alone. But, of course, there was a problem.

The built-in video card that I had been so excited about when I bought it turned out to be slightly insufficient for playing Blu-ray. The video was watchable, but noticeably choppy. So I decided to break down and buy a discreet video card that would handle it. I went with a bottom of the line Nvidia 8400GS. This was almost the same card that was built in to my motherboard, but being discreet meant it had its own processor and memory instead of having to share with the rest of the system. It was just enough to push me over the top of the Blu-ray hill.

This presented me with a conundrum, though. Installing a discreet video card defeated the purpose of the motherboard I had selected. And, although it was low-power, the processor I had selected was still better than the aging one in my normal desktop. So I decided to make the swap. Even with the older motherboard and processor, Blu-ray and HDTV still played fine with the new video card.

So that’s where I stand. I have an HTPC that plays HDTV, SDTV, Blu-ray and regular DVD, as well as all of my downloaded video and ripped DVDs. It took longer and cost more than I expected. I also missed my mark of cool and quiet, and wound up with a desktop that has components in it that I probably wouldn’t have bought if I hadn’t intended them for an HTPC. But, still, all in all, I’m quite happy and satisfied with how it turned out.

Now if I could only get it to play Hulu….

The Future Is Now

2009-03-01T16:30:00.002-06:00

On Christmas Day of the year 2000, I received as a present a Palm Pilot. It was a primitive device that I chiefly used to discretely play Solitaire during boring classes. The other interesting thing that I discovered for it was the ability to download and read public domain novels. It was on my Palm Pilot that I enjoyed Stoker’s Dracula, struggled through Joyce’s Ulysses, and (not for the first time) read the first chapter of Moby Dick before giving up on it. The dark grey text on grey/green background and 3-inch screen did not make for the best of reading experiences, but the words were every bit as powerful as if I was holding the physical book in my hands.

I eventually retired my Palm Pilot, but I knew, without a doubt, that I was not done reading on electronic devices. I flirted around with reading downloaded books on my computer. This was never ideal to me. Firstly, a backlit screen causes eye strain if you read for too long without looking away. But the biggest reason is that I tended to skim books as if I were reading a web site. I just couldn’t get in to the book the way I could with a paper book or even my Palm Pilot. So, for the past several years, I have flirted around with the idea of buying an e-book reader. What kept me from pulling the trigger was the feeling that they just weren’t quite there yet. That greatness was just around the corner.

Well, I finally got tired of waiting. Amazon released their second generation Kindle and I knew that my time had come. I pre-ordered it the day it was announced, and received it this past Friday. After playing around with it for a weekend, I find it a fascinating device. Though not perfect, I can tell that it is something I will use and enjoy for a long time.

The device feels very solid in your hands. The buttons are firm, yet responsive. It is nearly impossible to turn the page accidentally (a common complaint about the Kindle 1), but easy enough when you mean to. The 4-way joystick used to navigate the device is a little too stiff, but I image that it will get better as it gets broken in. Navigating the menus is sluggish because of the slow refresh rate of the screen. But it is fast enough when turning pages, although the flash that occurs when you do change pages is a little disorienting. The screen looks good. It is very sharp, if not as contrasty as I would like. It still has the gray-on-green look that the Palm Pilot did, although not nearly as bad.

The most significant feature of the Kindle, though, has nothing to do with reading books on it. The device has cellular internet access with no monthly charge. You can buy and download books without hooking up any wires. My first book that I bought before the Kindle was delivered was already on the device when I first opened it (I don’t know if there is some sensor that knows when you open the box or if they shipped it with the radio on.). You can go online with the Kindle, and though the slow, black and white (um, gray and green) screen makes it not the best experience, it is more than serviceable for text-heavy sites. Access to Wikipedia had drawn comparisons to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, a sentiment that I don’t disagree with.

The little touches for reading are nice too. You can resize text to suit your eyes. You can instantly look up the definition of a word you don’t know (I hadn’t even realized how often I blow through words, guessing at their meaning from context, until I had the ability to highlight and automatically define them without getting up and going to my computer.). You can bookmark and tag text, a feature that I love because I am really into quoting book passages, but hate having to scan back through a chapter to find one that I remember reading. You can also search. I will never use it, but the text-to-speech is surprisingly non-horrible.

The Kindle certainly isn’t perfect. Like I said above, it still doesn’t match the contrast of ink on paper. I wish that the screen was bigger as well. I really like the size of the device itself, but there is a lot of wasted space around the edges. The keyboard is pointless and in the way about 99% of the time as well. Although I wouldn’t want one that is on all the time, I do wish there was a backlight for use in a pinch. There is more glare on the screen than I was expecting. And, although it is quite adequate, the responsiveness certainly could be improved. It is also very, very expensive.

But, for a technology geek and a book nerd like me, these problems are very small and the upside is very big. As newspapers and magazines have been replaced by the web, compact discs have been replaced by MP3’s, and DVDs are being replaced by streaming/downloadable video, I think that dead-tree books are on their way out. Oh, sure there will always be collectors and bibliophiles who insist that books are superior, but the rest of us will happily understand that it is the content, the words, that matter. Not the container that they come in. And devices like the Kindle will bring us those words in more useful ways than paper can ever deliver.

Nonfiction

2009-01-05T22:23:00.002-06:00

Tonight, at the store, I bore witness to a fascinating scene. I waited in line to purchase my goods behind a man and his family. I watched patiently as he had not one, but two credit cards declined. He removed his hat to scratch his head unsure of how this could have happened, and it was obvious that his hair had not been washed in quite a while. He tried to explain his situation to the cashier, but he was hard to understand due to his drawl, his missing teeth, and the large dip of chewing tobacco under his lip. On his upper arm was tattooed, in poor calligraphy, the name of CHRIST. I could clearly read this tattoo because he had, of course, cut the sleeves out of his Harley Davidson tee-shirt. He hadn't done this to show off his muscle, but his abundant flab. His obese child watched on obliviously as his fat, exasperated wife dug through her purse looking for yet another credit card.

Rather than wait for the rest of the scene to play out, I changed lines. But I couldn't help but walk away with a grin on my face. Because the baseball cap he removed to scratch his filthy head was patterned with houndstooth, and bore a crimson "A".

War Eagle.

The Coolest Thing You'll See Today

2008-09-01T09:52:00.002-05:00

I've been following Microsoft's Photosynth project for a while now. I first heard about it around a year ago while watching the video below. While I do recommend watching the 8 min video for a full explanation, Photosynth is basically a tool for constructing 3d environments out of a series of 2d photos. Really cool stuff.

But until recently, the project has only really been visible as a tech demo with pre-constructed environments. Well, a couple of weeks ago, that finally changed. Microsoft put out a tool that allows people to construct their own Photosynth environments.

One of my favorite features on Auburn's campus is the War Eagle statue in the pavilion in front of Beard-Eaves Memorial Coliseum. So I decided to use it for my first test of Photosynth. Grabbing my camera and tripod, I went out and took 166 photos of the statue. Close-ups. Wide shots. Zooming in from long distance with my telephoto lens. Every angle that I could find from ground-level. I then came home, pulled the photos off of my camera, and let the Photosynth tool go to work.

The synth took a little over an hour to create and upload. Your results may vary based on the number and resolution of the pictures, as well as how much processing power you can throw at it (it kept my dual core machine pegged). The results were rated 84% "synthy", meaning (I believe) that it correctly mapped 84% of the images. The ones that it had trouble with were my super close-ups of the the eagle's body parts and the ones that were strongly silhouetted by being backlit by the sun. It did the best with photos that actually had the coliseum in the background. I suppose the arena made an easy landmark for the software to key on.

There is one downside for my Mac friends (and Linux, if there are any). Both the creation software and viewer plug-in are Windows-only. But hopefully all of you can find a Windows machine to check it out because it really is pretty cool.

So, please feel free to play around with my synth, or better yet, try to make your own. I plan to play around with this quite a bit more, so pay attention for my future efforts. Please let me know about yours.

New Digs

2008-07-26T16:39:00.001-05:00

Small post with a minor update on what's going on in my life.

When I first started working at the Auburn Athletic Department as a GA almost two years ago, the "IT Office" was actually a computer lab open to the students. A few months ago we got a little more privacy by moving into an unused office down the hall, but because it was so small we mostly used it for storage and still spread things we were working on across the lab.

Well all that is over. As part of all the new construction going on around the department, we wound up with some proper office space. It is located in the partially unfinished basement of the building that we affectionately refer to as "The Dungeon". It was previously occupied by the building manager, who has moved out to a trailer on the construction site of the new basketball arena. It is very industrial, with exposed pipes and bare brick walls. It is divided into two areas by a wall that only goes halfway up to the 20 ft. ceilings.

But it is spacious and private, and perfect for us. So I have uploaded some pictures to my Picasa account for your enjoyment, and I will gladly give a tour to anyone who will be visiting the loveliest village this fall for a football contest.

The Rockets' Red Glare

2008-07-07T21:57:00.001-05:00

My current favorite hobby is photography. As such, I am always looking for new and interesting ways to experiment with my camera. This past Friday, being the Fourth of July, presented an excellent opportunity.

Now, one of my absolute favorite things in the world is playing with fire and explosives. It is quite dangerous how much entertainment I derive from holding explosive devices in my hands. I could care less about the spectacular air bursts. I have far more fun with bottle rockets and fire crackers. So it was with quite a bit of reluctance that I decided to forgo that aspect of Independence Day festivities and instead focused on capturing some images of the show overhead.

My family lives on Gantt Lake in South Alabama. And every year an ad-hoc but quite excellent fireworks show gets put on. It seems like there is an unspoken competition between lake residents on opposite sides of the river over who can put on the best show. As such, as things have escalated over the years, the result is higher quality entertainment than some professional endeavors.

So, armed with my tripod and some very long exposures, I set about to capture the evening. Please enjoy my result.

The Soul Still Burns

2008-07-03T15:39:00.001-05:00

Although I cannot give hard figures, I am fairly certain that I have spent more hours of my life playing the fighting game Soul Calibur than any other video game. And that doesn't even include the sequels. My friends and I would play for multi-hour stretches several days a week for almost all four years of college. It is very clearly on my short list of all-time favorite games.

So I was thrilled that they released the game to X-Box Live. What follows are my quick hit thoughts after playing the game for a couple of hours last night after downloading it.

The "HD" refresh of the game is pretty un-noticeable. They did not change the aspect ratio, so it has black bars on the sides. And it was already a pretty gorgeous game on the Dreamcast, so I don't think it looks that much better on the 360.
Online play would have been killer, but it's still damn fun to play against the computer.
The game comes out of the box with all of the extras unlocked. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I remember how annoying it was to have to re-unlock everything after a VMU (Dreamcast memory stick) got corrupted (which happened often). But, it does take a lot of incentive out of exploring the whole game.
I love achievements! Now everyone will know that I actually can do Ivy's "Summon Suffering" throw.
The X-Box d-pad sucks. It's nearly impossible to do double-tap moves without accidentally pressing a diagonal on the second tap.
I still love this game. And I can't wait until Soul Calibur 4 comes out.

WALL-E

2008-06-28T15:17:00.002-05:00

The word I have been using to describe WALL-E to everyone who asks is "AMAZING!" The all-caps is important, as is the exclamation point. Because calling this movie 'amazing' or 'AMAZING' or 'amazing!' just doesn't do it justice. It may also be called beautiful, smart, funny, thoughtful, sweet, or awesome. You'll get no argument from me on any of those adjectives. But I feel all those are quite well summed up by AMAZING!

So did I like the movie?

Pixar is quite often (rightly) held up as a movie studio that can do no wrong. Every single movie they have released has been critically acclaimed and commercially successful. But, in my opinion, they are coming off a couple of minor missteps. Last summer Ratatouille was widely lauded, but was film that just didn't work for me. And before that, Cars was a movie that I liked more than most but sill I regard it as a lesser work in the Pixar pantheon. The best movies Pixar has made, in my opinion, are Toy Story 2 and The Incredibles. Finding Nemo is also a film that many hold up at the top, and while I don't quite hold it that high, I certainly appreciate it as an excellent movie.

So where does WALL-E fit in with those? It doesn't. It's better.

WALL-E is one of the greatest animated movies of all time. Animations work because they allow filmmakers tell stories in broader strokes than actors can convey. Though a robot, WALL-E is one of the most human characters ever drawn. Insecure, yet brave. Hardworking and sensitive. He allows everyone to empathize with him in a way that couldn't be accomplished in a traditional film.

WALL-E is also one of the greatest science fiction films ever made. Like all great science fiction, it is a thoughtful and at times somber picture of where we (the human race) are going. It has a message, but it is not preachy. It is also surprisingly dark, yet hopeful. The movie contains many references to other great sci-fi movies such as 2001 and Star Wars (And some not-so-great. WALL-E is pretty obviously the great-grandchild of Johnny 5 from Short Circuit.) But it doesn't just crib from those films, but joins them in greatness.

WALL-E is also a great romance (WALL-E and EVE's Zero-Gee dance is astonishingly beautiful and graceful). It is a great adventure movie (I want a poster from the "Rogue Robots" sequence [you'll know it when you see it]). It has a great heroine (I kind of have a crush on EVE) and a great reluctant hero.

And one of the greatest things about the movie is that, unless you've been paying very close attention to its production, everything you think you know about the movie takes place in the first half hour. The story takes many exciting twists and turns, and I don't want to spoil any of them.

So what I really mean to say is that WALL-E is a great movie. No, a GREAT movie. An AMAZING! movie. A movie that I love and can't imagine anyone not feeling the same.

Another Announcement

2008-05-22T22:23:00.001-05:00

This one might be even slightly bigger than my getting an X-Box.

As most of you know, I have been working as a graduate assistant with the Auburn Athletic department for the last year and a half or so. It has been a job that I've found incredibly fulfilling. Full of incredibly smart, dedicated, and hardworking people, it is almost like living in an Aaron Sorkin drama.

But now my situation has changed. No, I'm not leaving the Athletic Department. Instead, I'm going to be spending a lot more time there.

A few months ago, I became aware that a new IT position would be opening up to help alleviate the duties of managing the incredibly large number of computers and mobile devices used by our coaches, counselors, administrators, and athletes. I applied for this position and interviewed for it. And, although I knew that I must be a favorite since it would basically be the same job I was already doing, I nervously waited through the months of red tape that goes into creating a new job.

But now I can officially say that I am a full time employee of Auburn Athletics.

It is not without some sadness that I leave Graduate School behind (for the time being). I do leave quite a few credit hours sitting on the table, although no serious progress toward a dissertation. It is something that I do hope to return to in the future.

But, to be truly honest, the only reason that I've been in grad school for the past five years is that I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. And maybe I still don't. But I do know WHERE I want to be. And that's right where I am.

War Eagle.

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT

2008-05-11T09:40:00.002-05:00

I bought an X-Box 360. My Gamer Tag is wileyAU.

That is all.

wileyAU

Patriotism

2008-04-17T08:44:00.001-05:00

During the democratic debate last night (4/16/2008), one of the viewer-submitted items featured a woman who questioned Barak Obama's patriotism because he chooses not to wear a flag pin at all times. Obama went into a slightly stammering response about why he thought he was very patriotic, which was one of his poorer answers of the evening. This is how I wish he would have responded instead.

"My dear lady, I truly am sorry that you feel that way. But I am afraid that there is nothing I can say that is going to change your mind. If you really and truly are the kind of person who will make a decision about who should be your next president based on their choice of jewelry, I just can't argue with that. In fact, I think that I'd rather not have your vote. Furthermore, you probably shouldn't vote at all, as you clearly lack the cognitive tools required to make an informed, intelligent decision."

Of course, this drips with the elitism that Obama is also often accused of. Well, I think that Jon Stewart put it best the other night on The Daily Show. Why don't we want a president who is, you know, elite?

Dancing With the Devil in the Pale Moonlight

2008-02-21T12:07:00.001-06:00

So I dorked out pretty hard last night, running around the Auburn campus shooting pictures of the lunar eclipse. I had a good time, and actually learned a lot about the relationship between aperture and shutter speed. So here are a few notes about my evening.

The moon is a lot smaller than you think it is. Seriously. At least it's a lot smaller than I thought it was. In my mind, the moon always takes up about a quarter of the sky. But when I got out there trying to take pictures of it, even with a 30x optical zoom it didn't come anywhere close to filling my frame.

That makes me glad I didn't follow up on my initial idea to drive out to the middle of nowhere to avoid city lights. Instead I went running around campus looking for good vantage points to frame the moon against building and statues.

The moon is also a lot brighter than you think it is, as well. That's what made the eclipse such a great environment for nighttime photography. Without getting too in-depth, digital cameras have a limit on their dynamic range (the difference between the brightest and the darkest point in the photo). And a normal moon is so much brighter than everything else at night that it either ends up overexposed, or everything else is underexposed. So during a lunar eclipse, you end up with the aesthetic value of having a full moon in the frame, but also can take very long exposure shots without the moon blowing everything out.

So please check out my Picasa Web Album, for the full results of the evening.

Making Spreadsheets for Fun

2008-02-17T13:34:00.001-06:00

I am such a dork.

Out of boredom/procrastination on a lazy Sunday morning, I've been doing a little bit of analysis of my Netflix movie rental habits. In the past three and a half years, I have watched 350 movies though this service. That translates to 7.8 movies per month, and, at $18 per month subscription fees, means that I pay roughly $2.30 per movie watched*.

This seems pretty reasonable to me. That's cheaper per movie that I would get renting movies from the video store. Of course, it's not as cheap as piracy, which I can't honestly say I'm morally opposed to, but I've written at length about how much I like Netflix's ratings and recommendations service, and I find the queuing mechanism invaluable for organizing my movie watching habit. So it is a service that I don't at all mind paying for.

But recently I've been thinking about the future. Especially about high definition, and what my options will be in moving in that direction.

Now that Blu-ray seems to have won the HD-Disc format wars, I will likely soon be picking up a Blu-ray player (at least as soon as the 2.0 profile machines come out, *grumble*). Netflix allows seamless upgrades to Blu-ray discs whenever they are available, so this will serve my purposes for the near future.

But I feel pretty confident that HD downloads are the true way of the future, so I've been looking at my options on that front as well. The current options, however, are just too expensive for my current movie-watching habits. The Apple-TV, X-Box 360 Marketplace, TivoHD+Amazon Unbox, and my cable company's On-Demand service all offer hi-def downloads, but cost between 4 and 7 dollars per movie. The quality upgrade over DVD just isn't enough justify the increased costs for me.

So here's what I really want. I want Netflix (or someone using their model) to make a set-top box. This box would have enough hard drive space to store up to 5 HD movies (depending on subscription plans). The movies would be downloaded, not streamed, to maximize the video quality. The downloading would the throttled so as not to interrupt normal Internet activity. The downloads could take up to two day to complete (Netflix's current minimum turn-around time anyway). The GUI of the set top box would display a "Return" button next to each currently downloaded movie, which when clicked would delete that movie and begin download of the next one in the queue.

Will this happen? I dunno. This kind of thing has been rumored for more than a year. But I'm afraid that Netflix would want to tie it to their low quality "Watch Instantly" service. Until broadband capacity is seriously upgraded, no streaming service will be able to match the quality of a disc. In addition, the "Watch Instantly" service doesn't take advantage of the queuing mechanism that I love so much.

So, we'll see. But for now, I'm going to go throw my 351st movie into the DVD player.

*For the purposes of my calculations, 1 disc full of episodes of a tv series counted as 1 movie, and I didn't consider my "Watch Instantly" activity.

The Democratic Primaries

2008-02-13T17:34:00.001-06:00

Screw matters of policy. These two videos tell you everything you need to know about the two candidates.

Hillary Clinton

Barak Obama

Choose wisely.

On Interconference Gamesmanship

2008-01-07T13:46:00.001-06:00

After the Peach Bowl was over, and they were preparing the awards ceremony, the crowd began to chant, "SEC! SEC!" I turned to my friend Adam Epling and said "Fuck the SEC, go Auburn." I am quite frankly getting tired of the notion that we should cheer for a team because they belong to the same conference that we do.

These are our rivals! Do we really want LSU to have won 2 national championships in the last 5 years? I refuse to accept that the fact that Alabama beat Colorado helps us in any way. I equally feel that Florida losing to Michigan says exactly nothing about the quality of Auburn's football program.

This conference gamesmanship stems from the fact that the NCAA Division IA football championship is a mythical construct that has more to do with opinion than fact. And I hate it that Auburn played a large role in the constant one-upsmanship between conference fans.

As we all know, in 2004 an undefeated Auburn team was deemed unworthy to play for a national championship, primarily because the University of Southern California and the University of Oklahoma began the season ranked higher than Auburn. Fans of other SEC schools immediately rallied to our defense for fear that they to could someday be left out in a similar situation. The PAC 10 was soft, the Big 10 played nothing but cupcakes, the Big East was really the Big Least. These became the litany of all SEC fans. Every victory by an SEC team over one from another conference supported the cause, and for every loss, an excuse could be found.

This way of thinking came to a head last season when, in the last week of the season, Florida jumped over Michigan in the polls in the last week of the season, even though Michigan didn't play a game. And it was seemingly validated when Florida demolished Ohio State with a blindingly fast defense.

But I think that we learned the wrong lesson back in 2004. The notion that we have to cheer louder and harder for teams that we hate, just to prove that we face tougher opposition and are therefore more worthy of national ranking when it comes to deciding national champions. This is ridiculous. How can any sensible person possibly support a system like this?

I say reject the system. The real lesson of 2004 is that there is no such thing as a national champion in Division 1A football. So simply cheer for your team to win, cheer for your rivals to lose, and in all other games, cheer for whoever you like. Don't feel obligated to support a team that 364 days out of the year you can't stand just because you think it says something about the quality of your competition. So fuck LSU. Fuck the SEC. Go Buckeyes!

Why You All Are Backwards

2007-11-07T21:53:00.001-06:00

I am left-handed. This is something that I have always been very proud of. I mean, obviously, we are smarter and better looking. But it's more than that. I enjoy anything that sets me apart and makes me different and more unique. But that isn't my real point.

I am VERY left-handed. Most lefties are, out of necessity, a little more ambidextrous than right-handed people. Righties take for granted the little things such as zipping up your pants or using scissors, and southpaws get used to it. But I am one of those who has never taken well to the right-handed world. Whenever I greet someone, I have to suppress my natural instinct and instead offer them my right hand to shake. Outside of the few absolutely necessary tasks, my right hand is worthless.

That is why I say with absolute certainty that you are all playing Guitar Hero backwards. Because I play it in the "right-handed" position. And do so better and more naturally than using the lefty flip.

I can see why you would think that you are doing it the right way. I mean, the controller looks like a guitar, and you are holding it like you would a real guitar, right?

Well, there is a fundamental difference between the Guitar Hero controller and a real guitar that makes me disagree with this notion. On a real guitar, you have 6 (or so) strings that you must pluck with accuracy. Therefore, you want to use the hand with the best fine motor control, your right (my left).

On the other hand (ha, catch the pun there), chords that you are holding on the neck are a much more static thing. You will generally play several notes in a row holding the same chord. You don't need as much fine motor control for this activity. I am not saying that expert guitarist don't use intricate finger-work on the fret board, but that is a more advanced concept that comes after mastering plucking the correct strings.

But in Guitar Hero, almost all of the action happens up on the fret board. You have 5 buttons that you press to correspond what is happening on the screen. Instead of 6 strings to pluck, you have a "strum bar", which you could probably manipulate just as well with a pirate hook for a hand. Not that strumming correctly doesn't require some degree of accuracy, it's just that pressing the buttons correctly requires more.

Now I'm sure that most of you who might care about this are too far committed to consider making the switch. And you will immediately be struck with the main reasons that I initially tried swapping hands. That is, it is a huge inconvenience to have to be constantly changing the handedness of the guitar, and the guitar is designed like a right-handed one, and the whammy bar and start/select buttons are in the way. But maybe, just maybe, it will give you the edge you need to beat Slayer's "Reign of Blood" on expert.

The Best 3 Hours I've Spent in a Long Time

2007-10-12T10:08:00.001-05:00

This will be part one of a three part discussion about the new gaming collection by Valve called the Orange Box. The Orange Box contains Half-Life 2 and it's two expansions, Team Fortress 2, and the game that I will be talking about today, Portal. The Orange Box is available on the PC (recommended) or for the X-Box 360.

I would say that the Orange Box would be worth buying if it only contained the Half-Life games and you hadn't played any of them. If you have played Half-Life 2 and Episode 1, I'd still say it's worth it just for Ep 2 and TF2. But the icing on the cake (The cake is a lie!) is certainly the final component of the set.

Portal is one of the most innovative games I've played in a very long time. It mixes a puzzle game with a FPS. It teases the brain and the reflexes. It is hysterically funny (I literally laughed out loud several times). It is just a tremendous amount of fun.

It is hard to do the game justice by describing it. Portal is a series of 19 puzzles that place you in rooms with switches, moving platforms, hazards, and later on, turrets. Your objective is always to figure out how to open the doors to the elevator that will take to next level, or in the case of the last level, to your eventual prize (The cake is a lie!). Your only weapon is a portal gun. Its primary fire will shoot a blue portal, secondary fire is a red one. Step through the blue portal and come out the red one, or vice versa. Portals will only stick to certain surfaces, however.

So you will use portals to get around hazards and to move boxes or energy ball around the level. If you drop a portal onto the floor and put another one on the wall, when you jump through the one on the floor you will maintain your downward momentum, except it will change to horizontal momentum and you can launch yourself over wide chasms.

The best part of the game, however, is the computerized voice that is guiding you through each level. The voice and dialog (or I guess monologue since your character doesn't speak) are full of such a brilliant, sardonic wit that will continually propel you to the next challenge, just to hear what she will say next.

The only criticism I have of the game is that it is too short. I beat it in one sitting of about 3 hours. You will fly through the first 15 fairly simple puzzles. The next 3 are a bit more complex, and the final level is actually quite long and challenging before you can earn your just desserts (The cake is a lie!). There just should be more like it.

There are a series of bonus levels that I have not tackled yet. And hopefully more level packs will be released in the future. However, while the puzzles are fun, they just won't quite be the same without the computer narrating your progress.

Oh, and one last thing. This game may contain the greatest ending credits sequence of any game I've ever played. No spoilers, but the song that plays over the credits is genius. I want to get it into my iTunes library. Might even give it 5 stars.

Oh, and even one more last thing. The cake is a lie!

My Latest Project

2007-10-10T19:23:00.001-05:00

Last week, I wrote a post about the lessons I have learned in more than three years of rating movies using Netflix. You can read the full article, but I will also provide a short summary. Because I generally select movies to watch that I think that I will like, my rating list is very top-heavy, with more than twice as many 5-star ratings as there are 1 and 2-star combined. I also realized that there is very little difference in my opinion of 2-star movies over 1-star, while there are actually tiers within my 5-star ratings that are only known by me and not reflected in the rating.

So that brings me to my latest project. I have recently started at the top of my iTunes music library and will listen to all 5240 songs (and that number will surely grow by the time I am done) and rate them using the 5-Star system that iTunes affords. And I will do so applying what I think is a better strategy than I have used for Netflix.

This song rating project is actually just a smaller part of an ongoing project that I've been working on for about 8 months now. Since I finally gave in and am using iTunes as the sole platform for managing my music collection, I decided that I needed to get my iTunes library into as good a shape as possible. I have already sifted through my music correcting inconsistencies in band and album titles ("Beatles" vs "Beetles" vs. "The Beatles" vs. "Beatles, The"), supplying correct album titles were there were none, and tracking down album artwork for every track in my collection. I am specially proud of my solution for the large number of live bootlegs that I possess. I grouped them by band and gave each set an album name of Live X ("Live Pearl Jam" for instance). I then found a picture from a concert by that band and used it for album art.

So the latest phase in that ongoing project is rating every song. I quickly realized that the problems I would have using a rating scale from "love it" to "hate it" would be even more severe than in Netflix. Here's why. Netflix is a catalog of every movie that I've ever seen. If I do watch a 1-star movie, I can't un-see it (and believe me, I wish I could get rid of the 20 minutes that I watched of Pink Flamingos). But iTunes is a collection of music that I possess. While there might be any number of Britney Spears songs that I can't stand, they aren't in my library. Of the 5240 songs currently in my collection, I would hazard a guess that I would say that I "like" at least 5000. Which, in Netflix terms would mean 3 stars.

Therefore I have started using a new ranking system that will hopefully result in a much more natural and even curve. I present that system to you, my loyal readers, for your consideration:

1-Star

First an foremost I will apply this ranking to any song that I never like listening to. As I said before, there aren't many of those in my library, but sometimes you rip a cd and there is one song you can't stand, but you don't want to delete it and screw up the track numbering ...

But I will also use the 1-star rating for another purpose. Any track that I would label as "album filler" will get the 1-star. By album filler, I mean that there is no circumstance that I would wish to hear that track outside of the context of the album. While I think that the helicopter chase between Another Brick in the Wall parts one and two is really cool, I wouldn't really want it popping up in a playlist.

2-Star

2-star songs are ones that I don't really have anything against, they just don't do a whole lot for me. White noise tracks. While I wouldn't skip them listening to an album, I also wouldn't ever seek to them. For one of these songs to go on a playlist, it would have to have a very specific concept, and even then it would be just because I am trying to pad the length.

3-Star

A 3-star song is one that when I hear it, I really enjoy it, but I probably would never seek it out. Most of the full albums that I own, even ones that I really like, will be full of 3-Star songs. 3 star songs might turn up on a playlist if it fits the theme really well, or maybe if I wanted to some music to play in the background that I will enjoy but won't overly distract me.

3 stars will also probably be my default rating for song that I'm not sure about. I will keep my eye on 3 star songs when they come up in the future and may bump them up or down a star as I see fit. In fact, I might create one or more playlists for just this purpose.

4-Star

Now we're getting somewhere. Whenever I've said "Oh, I love this song", that's an automatic 4 stars. Note that under my Netflix system this would be five stars, and you'll see why that would be a problem in a minute. 4-star songs are ones that I will hunt down when I'm in a mood for a certain type of music. Most of my general listening playlists will be full of 4-star songs.

5-Star

To fit my song ratings under a normal curve, I should have very few 1-Star songs, and equally few 5-star songs. That's why 5 stars under this system is a special category. I said songs that I love will get an automatic 4 stars. I certainly love 5-star songs as well, they just have to have a certain extra quality to them.

I said that 4-stars are ones that I want to hear when I'm in a certain mood. Well a 5-star song is one that will PUT me in that mood. A 5-star song can make you cry when you're happy. They can bring you out of a funk. They can make you feel like you're sixteen again. They're powerful. Dangerous. A misplaced 5-star song could ruin a playlist. But it can also be the cornerstone of a great playlist.

Conclusion

So there you have it. It's too early to say (I'm still in the A's), but my hope is that this system will produce a much more even distribution of stars, with thousands of 3-star songs, hundreds each of 2 and 4 star tracks, and just a few dozen each 5 and 1 stars. I will probably still skew slightly toward the upper register, but hey, I really like music.

My ultimate goal with this ranking system is to be able to make better, smarter playlists. I also have some other plans to assist with this task that I would like to discuss, but I will save that for another time.

Rating Systems and Other Trivial Matters

2007-10-04T10:42:00.001-05:00

As I have addressed many times in this blog, I am a huge fan of Netflix. And one of my favorite features about the service is how spot-on the recommendation service is. I can't tell you how many times I've been interested in a movie that Netflix said I would give a 3-Star or lower rating, watch it anyway and wound up disappointed. On the flip side, I will receive movies that I don't remember why I ever added them to my queue in the first place and which don't sound terribly compelling, but Netflix suggests that I will think it is a 5-Star film, and damn if I don't end up loving it.

So, as well as the Netflix system work, I do have one issue with it, or rather, with how I use it. According to the Netflix Ratings Legend, giving a movie 5 stars means that I "Loved it", 4 I "Really Liked It", 3 I "Liked It", 2 I "Didn't Like It", and 1 star means that I "Hated It". I have rated almost 1300 films using this system, and a pretty clear trend has arisen. It is very top-heavy. My average rating is 3.8. I have given 407 movies 5 stars. And that's compared to only 186 movies with less than 3 stars.

If were to watch every movie ever made, or a true random sampling of movies, I sure that my average rating would balance out to a healthy 2.5 and fit under a pretty little normal curve. But the fact is that I don't watch films at random (though it does seem like it some times). I usually watch movies that I'm pre-disposed toward liking. At this point, I am fairly comfortable with my tastes, and before I even watch a movie, I can guess within a star or two what my eventual rating will be. So, of course I normally only watch movies that I think I will like.

If you look through my 1 and 2 star rated movies, you will mostly find bad action/comedy movies by the likes of Steven Segal, Rob Schneider, or Frank Stalone, which I generally can't stand but that my stupid friends drug me too at some point. Only a very small percentage of these are movies that I actually wanted to watch and completely missed the mark on.

Notice above that I said that I was "disappointed" by a 3-star movie. According to Netflix this means that was supposed to have liked the movie. That's the issue. Because of Netflix's monstrous catalog, I am no longer content watching a movie that I merely "like".

So, movies that I self-select start at 3 stars. This basically changes how I use the Netflix Rating System from a 5-Star system to a 3-Star. Instead of "Like It", "Really Like It", "Love It", to me now it is closer to "Ok, but kinda disappointing", "Pretty Good", and "Great".

Among my 1 and 2 star rated movies, I basically have no strong feelings. When it really comes down to it, I'd no more rather re-watch a 2-star movie than a 1-star. But on the other end, there are clearly tiers among my 5-stars. I may "love" both The Godfather and Shaun of the Dead, both by my definition of the word love and by the fact that I've given them both five stars. But I would never pretend that there wasn't a difference in how I feel about the two movies. The problem is that only I know what that difference is, to Netflix they're both the same.

If I were to redo all of my ratings, I would merge all of my 2-star movies in with my 1-stars. I would then slide all of the other categories one star down (3's become 2's, 4's become 3's, 5's become 4's). Finally I would go back through the list of now 4-star movies and select the ones that I thought were truly great, and bump only those back up to 5-star status.

So why am I not going to do this (at least anytime soon)? Well, first and foremost, this would be a pretty time-consuming project. Free time is not something that I have an overabundance of. Secondly, like I said in the opening paragraph, I think that the recommendation system works really well. I'm a little afraid that if I change something that's working, it might break it.

Therefore, instead of changing my Netflix movie rating system, I am instead applying the lessons learned above in a new project, which I will discuss very soon in this very space. In fact, this post was originally supposed to be about that new project until my preamble about Netflix ran into its second page. So come back sooner than my more normal 10 day / 2 week update schedule to hear about that.

I'm Getting the Munchies

2007-09-18T11:58:00.001-05:00

A few months ago, I watched the first season of the Showtime show Weeds. When it first came out, I had written it off as pot culture humor, which is something that I've never been particularly in to. But after the recommendations of people whose judgments I trust, I gave it a try. And I really enjoyed it. But I just finished season two and I have to say that they seriously stepped up their game.

What could have been a show of cheap sophomoric humor is actually one of the most intelligence shows on television. It is funnier than every sit-com not named Curb Your Enthusiasm, but with richer character work than most TV dramas. The show contains strong social commentary about our country's ridiculous drug policy and the problems of suburban life, but does so without being at all preachy. And the music . . . incredible. The show is full of indie music that always hits the exact right notes.

Season two ratchets up the the drama and storytelling. While I enjoyed season 1, season 2 totally blew me away. The only unfortunate thing is that it ends on a cliffhanger, and season three is currently in the middle of it's broadcast schedule, so I'm going to have to wait a while before I can find out what happens . . .

Metroid Prime 3: First Impressions

2007-09-05T10:57:00.001-05:00

Metroid Prime 3: Corruption came out last week and I picked it up over the weekend. I'm only about a quarter of the way through the game, but I wanted to get some quick thoughts out there for anyone who is considering buying it.

The short version? I don't love it as much as I'd like to.

The game has been getting fantastic reviews across all the gaming sites whose opinions I trust. It's the latest installment of one of my all-time favorite series. So what isn't doing it for me? It's a lot of little things.

First off, the controls. When the Wii first came out, one of the first things that came to mind about the new control scheme was that now having a true pointing device would allow a console FPS to match the precision of the old trusty mouse-and-keyboard scheme on PC's. I haven't played any of the other Wii FPS's (like Red Steel or Medal of Honor), but in Metroid they made a significant choice that, while better than the dual-analog scheme on most consoles, still leaves it inferior to mouse-aiming. In a PC FPS, you are always pointing at the center of the screen. As you move the mouse, the display adjusts so that the target stays in the center. But in Metroid, the target moves to the spot on the screen that you are pointing at. If that spot is outside of a bounding box around the center, you begin to turn in that direction. I understand why they did it this way. Keeping you hand steady and pointing at the center of the screen for extended periods of time is not the most comfortable situation to be in, and they didn't want the display wonking out just because a player relaxes his or her hand. But it makes turning painfully slow. It probably takes between 2 and 3 seconds to do a 180. This may not seem like very long, but on a computer, I can do a 180 with a quick flick of my wrist in a small fraction of 1 second. And there are three degrees of sensitivity for turning. I play on the highest and still think it feels sluggish, so I cannot imagine how bad it must be on the lowest.

They try to overcome this slow turning speed during frantic combat by allowing you to lock onto an enemy, which will always keep them in the center of your vision. Which is nice, except that if you fail to achieve a lock (or the enemy manages to break the lock, which most baddies of any significance have the ability to do) you instead lose the ability to turn at all until you release the button. Once again, this doesn't sound like much, but in many of the battles against multiple enemies in large arenas, fractions of seconds count.

My other real complaint is that oftentimes the game doesn't feel very much like Metroid. Previous Metroid games have had some elements of story to them, but mostly were about exploring and puzzle solving. In this game, you have cut-scenes. You interact with NPC's. You have a voice over the radio that guides you and gives you advice. And I don't mean to say that I'm against storytelling in my games, but it makes some of the more Metroid-y elements seem out of place, like coming across a puzzle on a strange foreign world that is uniquely suited to Samus's abilities. Or the fact that you win a prize for beating bosses. Also there is some stuff going on in the story that I really don't understand because I didn't play Metroid Prime 2. I know that is my own fallacy, but Super Metroid told you everything you needed to know about the first two games (on the NES and Gameboy) in the introduction.

I don't want to sound like I'm completely trashing the game. There is a lot to love. The graphics are beautiful. Some of the innovative ways that you interact with the world are just fantastic. Especially how you use the grappling hook in combat. Genius. If you're interested in the game, I would certainly not recommend against it. And maybe you'll agree with the mainstream reviews and not me. But in my mind, it's only a ground rule double, just shy of a home run.

It's All Happening

2007-08-30T11:05:00.001-05:00

Today was the first day you could really feel it. Anticipation has been building for a month now. We've been talking about it. Thinking about it. Worrying about it. Obsessing over it. And now it is almost here.

At first glance, it isn't obvious. It is still hot. As hot as it has been since June. It is still so humid that the evolutionary bright idea known as sweating doesn't do a bit of good. The dominant sound around campus is still construction from the three major projects that have disrupted classes and traffic all summer and now into the fall semester. There isn't any specific smell or taste either.

No. It is some kind of sixth sense. But once you notice it, it is positively overwhelming. It is a giddiness, a euphoria. It is a sparkle in eye of every person you meet on the concourse. It is the slightly upturned corners of everyone's mouths, who don't even realize that they're smiling. It is a glow that makes all of the girls even prettier. It is the collective knowledge that in two days we will all congregate in common cause.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is football season.

War Eagle

Shiny

2007-08-23T09:02:00.001-05:00

Yesterday afternoon I was invited to the official unveiling of the new Jordan-Hare Stadium HD Video board. It looks pretty sweet, as you can see. I've posted several more pics on Facebook (you don't need an account to see them), so be sure to check them out.

We also got a sneak peek at the new video that will play immediately prior to the team taking the field on gamedays. I really like it, although it had a different feel than the ones they've used the last couple of years.

**Spoiler Warning**

The song is "Ladies and Gentlemen" by Saliva, and it has more of a "pump you up" vibe than more dramatic and epic feeling of previous vids. The theme of the video was centered on the 50th anniversary of Auburn's 1957 national championship and featured a lot of intercutting between then and now footage.

**End Spoilers**

I really do love having a job that affords me these kinds of opportunities . . .

War Eagle

237 (Woah!)

2007-07-29T23:46:00.001-05:00

So I flipping around the ole' tube earlier tonight and came across the opening minutes of The Shining on CinemaxHD. It has been a long time since I've seen it, and I became quickly engrossed. I'm not certain, but I think that I've only ever seen it on video. So the upgrade to HD was spectacular. (Although, I must say, Shelley Duvall better be thankful that she was a star before the high definition era.) Such a great movie.

I do have to say, however, that one of my main thoughts during the movie suggests that I completely miss the point of the story. But how awesome would it be to get to live alone in a remote hotel, completely secluded, for a whole winter? I know, I know, "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" and all that, but still . . . Give me a stack of books, DVDs and my laptop (I'd even be okay with no internet) and I'd be good to go.

redrum

REDRUM

Yup. I'd be A-OK.

Expelliarmus!

2007-07-12T19:36:00.001-05:00

I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. Never wanted to. I don't have any problem with people who do enjoy them, and it's not like I'm an anti-reader or anything (I hope you all know me better than that), but I just never thought that they were for me.

I have been following the movie series, however. I feel that not having read the books gives me an interesting perspective to discuss the films with those who have. I'll start off with a brief recap of my opinions of the movies to date. The Sorcerer's Stone, I enjoyed up until the bullshit ending which still pisses me off to this day (which I really don't want to go into here). The Chamber of Secrets has what I feel is the best story and structure, a good little mystery that does a good job of building the lore of Hogwarts but not getting bogged down in it. The Prisoner of Azkaban is the best film of the bunch. It is the best directed, and the best acted. I flip-flop between it and Chamber as to which is my favorite. And then there is the Goblet of Fire, which I thought was pretty crappy (see my review). I recently caught most of it on HBO one night, and still feel pretty much the same, that it it feels like a Reader's Digest condensed version of the book dramatized on film. So little time was spent developing characters that when things happened, when people died, they just carried no weight. It seemed like they were supposed to remind you of how you felt when that happened in the book. Which I (and many others) had never read. Whenever I say something like this, people always respond "Well just read the book," to which I have to respond, why even make the movie if it's not going to stand on its own?

So that was a really long prelude to my mentioning that I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix last night. While I do feel that it has some of the same problems that Goblet of Fire did, I liked this one better. It felt leaner; the direction, acting and special effects were much improved; and the overall series story took some interesting twists. On the negative, however, I felt that just like in Goblet, there wasn't enough character development. After being introduced in such great fashion in Azkaban, Sirius Black was almost completely ignored in Goblet and wasn't given enough growth in this one, especially considering the role he played in the climax. Harry Potter's girlfriend Cho was completely forgotten about halfway through the movie. A new character, Luna, I found very interesting, but didn't have nearly enough screen time to really flesh her out as a character. Even Ron and Hermione didn't have very much to do other than encourage Harry.

Still, on the whole, I enjoyed it. They did a better job this time out of hiding the fact that plotlines and characters from the book were omitted (I didn't notice any, as I could with Goblet). The direction and acting was good (although not as good as Azkaban). And the special effects (which I criticized in Goblet) were fantastic. I'd be willing to see it again if anyone wants to go watch it in IMAX-3D.

And, most importantly, I'm excited about the series again. When my friends asked if I wanted to come see Harry Potter last night, I initially waffled based on how disappointed I was with Goblet. But, while it certainly wasn't perfect, I'm glad that I went.

Come On!

2007-06-27T15:24:00.001-05:00

I am a casual tennis fan. By that I mean I watch the four Grand Slam majors when they're on TV and I don't have anything else to do. I used to play as a pre-teen (took lessons and everything), and not keeping it up is one of my minor regrets.

Anyway, I just mention it to preface a discussion about a recent trend among tennis players that has been bothering me. That of shouting "COME ON!" after a big play.

I believe that Lleyton Hewitt was the first to start doing it, but I've also heard it from the likes of Andy Roddick, Maria Sharipova, and (just this morning) Serena Williams.

Now, I too have yelled "Come On!" during competitive events (such as a round of Soul Calibur). But when I do so, I mean it in the sense of "Come on, give me a break!" when I feel that I've done something right but wasn't properly rewarded for it. Like when I land a successful combination of moves but my opponent has a sliver of life remaining ("Come on! You should be dead!") or when my sword appears to pass through my opponents head, but it doesn't register as a hit ("Come on! That hit you!"). I'm sure that John McEnroe has at some point in his tennis career yelled something to the effect of "Come On! That ball was in!" when he felt wronged by a line call.

Another possible use for the phrase might be as a synonym for "Bring It!" or "Hit me with your best shot!" But in that case, it should be uttered after returning an "ace" serve for a winner, or chasing down a sharp passing shot from all the way across court. "Come on! Is that all you got?"

But when modern tennis stars yell "Come on!" they do it after a big play of their own. An ace, or a slam at net. "Come on! Did you see what I just did?" To me, that just seems like self-congratulation, which I think is just bad form. And if you're going to trash talk, at least be a little more creative. I mean, come on!

The Best of the Best

2007-06-21T15:21:00.001-05:00

It may be a strange thing to say about a television special, but when the American Film Institute put out its list of the 100 best American films ten years ago, it had a pretty profound effect on me. I was 16 at the time, and knew that I enjoyed watching movies. But the AFI list really got me thinking critically about how to judge a film, and to compare it against others. It made for a lot of fun debate. And it also helped to encourage me to seek out older classics, like The Manchurian Candidate, On the Waterfront, and Citizen Kane. And while there is always room for argument over specific rankings, I really do think you are a lesser person for not having seen any of the top ten.

So it was with great interest that I watched a new special last night, where the AFI revisited the list, considering new releases from the last decade, movies that have found new audiences through DVD restorations, and reranking films from the original list. Once again, there is plenty of room for debate and disagreement, but that's half the fun. And I do believe that any and every film in the top 100 is worth watching.

So here are just a few quick-hit thoughts that I had while watching the special and thinking about it afterwards.

There were only 4 movies from the last 10 years (1997-2006) added: Titanic, Saving Private Ryan, The Sixth Sense, and The Fellowship of the Ring. That number will certainly grow the next time the revise the list. As much as I enjoyed it, I'm not sure that Sixth Sense belongs. And it's hard to consider any of the Lord of the Rings movies individually. More than any other film series, I consider Fellowship, The Two Towers, and Return of the King to be one 10 hour epic film. I was glad that Titanic did make the list, considering the rather large back-lash that has occurred over the last few years (which I've never completely understood). Saving Private Ryan seems to be in just about the right place.

Of the many recent movies that I feel deserve consideration, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind stands out to me. In 20 years, I really do believe that it will not only be on the list, but very high.

Of all the movies dropped from the list, I was most sad to see My Fair Lady go. It's my favorite musical, one that I prefer to Singing in the Rain (which was #10 and got moved up to #5).

While I have no problem with ET being on the list, the clips that they showed were from the recent ET Special Edition, with is incredibly inferior to the original. While a big deal was made about Speilburg replacing the FBI agents' guns with walkie-talkies (idiotic as that was), what I really took issue with was how they replaced ET's face with a CG cartoon. Terrible.

Yay Toy Story!

I really need to rewatch Raging Bull, which was moved up from 24 to 4. Then I can write an essay about why I've been wrong about criticizing it for all these years, or write one explaining exactly what issues I have with it. But I will say this. There is no way that it should be ranked higher than On The Waterfront (19), if for no other reason that one of the most significant moments in Bull was DeNiro standing in front of a mirror, reciting Marlon Brando's "I coulda been a contender" speech from Waterfront. Also, even if I do change my mind about Raging Bull, I do not thing that there is any way that it could surpass Taxi Driver (52) in the Scorcese pantheon in my mind.

Boo for not correcting the mistake of leaving The Exorcist off the last list. It is the greatest horror movie (Rosemary's Baby fans may argue that point. Saw fans may not.). And much better than the Sixth Sense.

You are not a complete human being if you have never watched Casablanca, Lawrence of Arabia, Gone with the Wind, or Schindler's List. They are inarguable Top Ten choices.

Citizen Kane once again gets top billing. I can't take too much issue with that choice, except to say this. The Godfather (#2) was made with just as much skill and love, and is a more entertaining movie. I would agree that Kane was more significant to movie-making in general, but I would still lean toward the Corleone family's epic.

That's all I have for now. Here's to ten more years of debate, discussion, and great movies, until the next list comes out!

Goodbye, Tony Soprano

2007-06-12T10:31:00.000-05:00

**NOTE** No spoilers for those of you waiting for On-Demand or DVD.

I'm sure gonna miss you, big guy.

You were a murderer, a misogynist, a thug, and at times a crybaby. But you were also loyal and loving. And above all, compelling.

Your show was much the same. At times flawed and frustrating. But always compelling. What happened with Big Pussy, Adrianna, and Johnny Sac made for some of the best television ever broadcast. And if we never find out what happened to the Russian who escaped from Paulie and Crissy out in the Pine Barrens, so be it.

This was exemplified by the last few episodes. Starting from when Christopher fell off the wagon one more time, right up to you and Paulie and Patsy boarding yourself up in a safe house in Jersey, The Sopranos was as strong as it had ever been. But then there was that maddening series finale. Leaving so many issues unresolved, and the ones that were resolved being done so in an unsatisfying way . . .

And then there was that ending. That's what really has everyone so pissed off. And I understand why they're in a dither. The abruptness, the unsureness about what actually happened, the overall strangeness of the scene. But I'm not sure that it wasn't subversively brilliant. Instead of tying things up in a nice little bow, that last scene will have people talking and debating for years. About what actually happened. About what it meant.

But that isn't really the issue here. What I really want to say is that, much like Dr. Melfi, I will continue to look for the good that is in you and your show, despite the horrific things that you do and the missteps that your show makes. The Sopranos has become an American institution, and you, Tony, are an icon. And now that it's over, you will be missed.

Why I Kinda Pretty Much Completely Hated Spiderman 3

2007-05-04T17:31:00.001-05:00

The headline is the short review. For the long review, I'm going head deep into spoiler territory, including a play by play of everything they did wrong in the climax. So, if you have any intention of ignoring my recommendation (which is going to see Hot Fuzz instead of this piece of crap), you might want to back out now.

I know that I'm making the movie sound completely awful, which is a little unfair. It does have a few good points. But the parts that are bad are so mind-numbingly awful that it complete ruins the experience. And that kind of blows my mind. This is basically the same cast and crew that made the two previous Spidey movies, which I love. And the new additions to the cast were actually the best parts. So how could they screw up this colossally?

Mainly poor writing. But also some poor acting and directing. This leads me to believe that the main cast and Sam Raimi (the director) are getting tired of the franchise. But even that doesn't excuse this movie, which goes way beyond the Batman Forever, X-Men 3 kind of comic book movie that is well intentioned, but made by people who just don't seem to "get" the source material, and into Batman and Robin, Superman IV territory, which is a profound disrespect for everything that came before. And I don't even mean that as a comic book geek, because I was never even into Spiderman that much. This movie is disrespectful of the first two films in a way that doesn't just disappoint, but angers me.

Now, what follows is a list of my most serious problems:

Mary Jane Watson Cannot Sing
Part of the conflict in the movie involve domestic issues between MJ and Peter Parker, stemming from the fact that early in the movie she is fired from a Broadway musical the night after her premier, because of scathing reviews of her singing. Ignoring the notion of "and they didn't catch that in rehearsal?" I proceed with the following question. If it is a plot point that Mary Jane is a bad singer, why does she sing two full songs on screen, and starts a third before being interrupted by problem #2. Only two things can happen. One, the actress playing the part, Kirsten Dunst, sings well and the audience is confused over why she was fired, or two, she sings poorly and the audience has to sit through 5 grating minutes of it. Well, Kirsten is either a bad singer or a very good actress, because either of her two performances would have gotten her reamed by Simon Cowell.

Emo Pete Doing Cabaret
After Spidey falls under the influence of the symbiotic alien that will become Venom, it supposedly enhances his energy and powers, but also dramatically increases his aggression. I'm cool with that. Except to demonstrate this fact, there was a 10 minute montage of Peter Parker wearing black with his hair combed down over his eyes (ooh, how edgy) dancing all over New York, winking and pointing at women. I really cannot do justice to how terrible this segment was. The sequence ends with him showing up at the Jazz Club where Mary Jane works now (oh, did I forgot to mention, even though she was a successful actress, singing is her true desire, even though she is terrible at it, so she is singing and waitressing at a Jazz Club) with a date and interrupts her song by jumping on the piano, ripping off a tune, and dancing on the bar. They play a scene where Peter is trying to emotionally hurt MJ for laughs, and it is just laughably bad.

Inappropriate Laughter
I don't know how much of this to blame on the audience I was with, the writers, or the speakers. But there were two separate occasions where people were crying on screen and people were laughing in the audience at how cheesy it was.

"What the Hell?"
Topher Grace was awesome as Eddie Brock, Peter Parker's chief rival at the Daily Bugle. Topher Grace was absolutely horrible as Venom, who Eddie Brock becomes after Spidey sheds the black suite. Hearing his voice come out of Venom's snarling toothy mouth was completely and utterly wrong.

Violating the Comic Code
Comic book movies in general have too big of a case of kill-the-villain-itus. Golden/Silver age heroes do not kill their opponents. They beat them, arrest them, and send them to jail or a mental asylum, from which they will inevitably escape and reign terror again. But that's just not enough closure for most Hollywood movies, so Joker dies at the end of the first Batman. Oh, sure, the hero usually doesn't kill them directly, but let them, through their own evil doings, meet a sudden end. But this movie takes it to the next level entirely. Spiderman was fighting Venom atop a skyscraper under construction when he realized that the symbiote is extremely sensitive to sound waves. He then begins beating hollow metal tubes to create a resonance that will force the symbiote off of Brock. He succeed, and manages to save Eddie. Spidey then throws one of Green Goblin's grenades (It was a complicated battle. Sandman was there too.) at the symbiote and Eddie JUMPS INTO THE EXPLOSION! To once again quote Eric Foreman, "What the HELL?!" They killed off one of the most interesting characters in the Spiderman mythos for no good reason.

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility
And that brings me to my biggest problem. The one that pushes me from simply writing it off as a bad movie to being completely pissed off. They rewrote the history of the movie. It is revealed that before he became Sandman, Flint Marko was the one who really killed Peter's Uncle Ben. ?!? The lesson . . .the point . . . the REASON Spiderman exists is the fact that "with great power, comes great responsibility." Spiderman becomes a hero because he had a chance to stop the man who killed his beloved uncle, but chose not to, and therefore devoted his life to trying to correct his mistake. Except, he NEVER HAD THAT CHANCE! THE WHOLE FREAKING REASON THAT HE BECAME A SUPERHERO IS A LIE!!! And to make matters worse, it wasn't even murder. Marko was holding Ben up and the gun went off in his hand! And when Peter finds that out, he FORGIVES him, and LETS HIM GO!!! The man who had killed his uncle (even accidentally) and more recently had been robbing banks and causing general destruction as the Sandman, and Spiderman let him escape because he "really wasn't a bad guy, just had bad luck."

If you think I'm being too harsh, that it doesn't matter why he became a superhero, it just matters what he does with his powers, understand this: comic books are, at their heart, moral tales. It is important that Peter Parker learns a genuine lesson, to justify his life, and his existence. And to violate that, and simply to tie another character into the story no less, is wrong and offensive.

And it hurts me to be so mad at this movie, because there was a lot to like. The first half hour was awesome, with the first battle with Green Goblin II, Spidey stopping an out of control crane, and getting the key to the city. Thomas Hayden Church was great as Sandman (despite the revilations about his character), as was Topher Grace as Eddie Brock. But the movie hit a brick wall as soon as the Venom symbiote showed up, and became hokey, lame, and finally offensive. And the bad came to totally outweigh the good, and that just makes me sad and upset.

Movies You May Not Have Seen

2007-04-25T11:28:00.001-05:00

I just posted to my Facebook profile a list of 5 movies that I love, which, in my experience, not a lot of people have seen.  This list is by no means exhaustive.  I watch a lot of movies that no one has ever heard of.  So I tried to limit this to fairly recent films that a lot of you may have heard of, but for whatever reason dismissed, or probably should have heard of, but didn't.  And I may be wrong about what people have and haven't seen.  At least one of the movies was a pretty reasonable hit, but for whatever reason, it seems like few people in my peer group have ever watched it.  Regardless, it is a list of 5 really good films that I think deserve watching.  So fire up your Netflix queue, go down to Blockbuster, or whatever.  And if, for whatever reason, you don't like one of the movies . . . well, I won't give you your money back, but I'll personally explain to you why you are wrong.

City of God
A 2002 Brazilian film about gang warfare in the slums of Rio de Janeiro.  The movie is brimming with energy.  It is exciting, funny, heartbreaking, violent, and beautiful.  It has been compared favorably to Goodfellas.  I go further than that and say that it is better (I have always though that a very weak final act brought down Scorcese's classic, but that is another matter entirely).  I am currently watching the spin-off television series, City of Men, and it does a excellent job of capturing the style and substance of the original film.

Election
1999 was arguably the best year of cinema that I have lived through.  Fight Club, American Beauty, The Matrix, Toy Story 2, The Sixth Sense . . . I could go on all day.  I was going to the theater nearly every weekend that year.  But lost in the shuffle, I feel, was a darkly subversive little Reese Witherspoon film about high school politics.  The movie works on many different levels, hitting on truths both about high schoolers and high school teachers, and also about how real politics can be just as juvenile as high school.

Out of Sight
This film made quite a bit of money and was nominated for several awards, but it often seems to me that when I try and talk to people about it, they'll say something to the effect that they caught a little bit of it on TV, didn't like it, and changed the channel.  This always frustrates me.  Because it really is a great movie.  The director, Stephen Soderbergh, normally goes back and forth between making pretentious indie movies (Sex, Lies, and Video Tape), and light and fluffy big budget "hit" movies (Ocean's 11). But in this film, he walked the line beautifully with big-name stars (George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez in the only movie I've ever even remotely liked her in) and based on a popular Elmore Leonard novel, but being extremely experimental with the editing, time-line, and coloring of the movie. Plus it has Don Cheadle in it, which to me is always a mark of excellence. Seriously, I don't think that guy has ever been in a bad movie.

Brick
I've written about this movie already, here, but I will continue to sing its praises. Brick takes high school cliches and regurgitated film noir dialog and combines them into one of the most original movies made in the last few years. I love it.

A Simple Plan
As much as I love this movie, whenever I start talking about it I tend to scare people off of it. That's because it is inky, pitch black dark. But it is also one of the most affecting movies that I have ever seen. It is a horror movie in the truest sense. Not about some monster, but about the dark things that ordinary people are capable of, given the right circumstances. About how a simple plan can spiral hopelessly out of control. This movie was directed by Sam Raimi, of Evil Dead and Spiderman fame. And as much as I love those two series of movies, it is kind of a shame that they are what he will be forever known for, because this is his masterpiece. Just don't plan to be happy for a good long while after watching it . . .

So there you go. Watch them, and let me know what you think.

Wiiiii!!!!!

2007-04-03T17:14:00.000-05:00

Last night, a friend emailed me asking if he should go "all in" on a Nintendo Wii. Since I have had one for a couple of months now, he wanted my opinion on how I've liked it, what games I had, what the prospects were for the future, and, most of all, whether he should get one our not. I felt that my response would make a good blog post, so hopefully he won't mind having our conversation aired in public.

The Nintendo Wii is a very different video game console than any ever made. Last week, over spring break, I was at home playing Wii Sports Bowling with my mother (who hasn't wanted anything to do with a video game since the days of Pong) and my 5-year-old cousin. Not only were they having a good time, they were both pretty good (my mother averages over 200, actually). My mother wouldn't touch an X-Box or Playstation, and Brittany certainly wouldn't be able to hang with me in Soul Calibur. So it's certainly got that going for it.

But we're more advanced gamers. We've put a beat down on Sephiroth in FF7, Ares in God of War, and Dracula in Castlevania. What does the Wii hold for us? Quite a bit, actually. The Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Princess is every bit as deep and good as past Zelda games such as A Link to the Past and The Ocarina of Time. I also have SSX: Blur, and while it does feel rushed in places, it has the most innovative uses of the Wiimote yet, requiring more precision and timing than you could ever achieve with buttons on a controller. Very rewarding to a hardcore gamer.

And as to the future? I'm very excited about Super Paper Mario, Metroid Prime 3, Super Mario Galaxy, and Smash Brothers Brawl. And that's all scheduled to come out this year! Also the possibilities of the controller are promising. Imagine a RPG where you point at enemies to target them and then do a gesture to cast a spell instead of selecting it out of a menu? The Wii Sports games are all pretty simple, but I would love to see more advanced games such as Hot Shots Golf or Top Spin Tennis use the controller in the same way. All in all, I'm very excited about the future.

But with all that said, I also really like what the X-Box 360 people are doing. The have hands down the best online functionality. They're really hitting their stride with quality titles such as Oblivion, Crackdown, and Gears of War. And trailers for games like Assassin's Creed and GTA-IV make me drool with anticipation. Plus they're coming out with a black one. If I weren't a poor college student with not enough time to play video games already, I would buy one. The PS3? Wake me when God of War III comes out.

So should you go all in? I say yes. It's considerably cheaper than either the 360 or the PS3. There are already some really fun, innovative games out, and more coming. It's great at a party and also has some depth for the serious at-home gamers as well. It gets the Wiley-Style seal of approval.

A Question

2007-03-20T21:16:00.000-05:00

I consider myself a pretty intelligent person. Especially good at figuring things out. But recently I have been pondering a pretty big question, and I honestly can't get a grip on it.

How the hell did the world work before the internet?

Seriously.

Can't work my head around it.

Here's what got me thinking about it. I'm going to be in Vermont this summer for a wedding. Some of my friends and I thought it would be fun to rent a cabin for the weekend instead of spreading out over a couple of hotels. So what do I do? Google of course. The first results are the bigger "vacation package" type organizations. Going through them would cost upwards of a couple of thousand dollars for the weekend, which is out of my range, even spread over a large group. But dig a little deeper and I find some individuals renting vacation homes, much cheaper and more flexible. I used Google Earth to figure out exactly where these places are in relation to where the wedding is going to be. And now I'm in the process of emailing back and forth with a couple of people to finalize plans.

If you told me to find and book a cabin in central Vermont from south Alabama without using Google and email, I wouldn't have a clue about where to start. A travel agent? Then I would just wind up with one of those overpriced "vacation packages." Maybe try and get in touch with some of the bride's family in the area? For an anti-social person like myself? Yeah right. I just don't know.

My point is this. We live in a great time. And I only see it getting better.

Living Up to Expectations

2007-03-12T14:23:00.000-05:00

Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time.

When the first teaser for the movie 300 came out some time last summer, I was stunned. It was gorgeous. Absolutely spectacular. Doing an even better job of capturing Frank Miller's hyper-realistic visuals than Sin City. I would watch it over and over again, never losing excitement. I became obsessed with the movie, working myself into a froth about how I just knew it was going to be the greatest movie I had ever seen.

Give them nothing! But take from them everything!

But obsessed in a strange way. Although I had the trailer in an endless loop in my head, I really didn't want to know anything else about the movie. I didn't read pre-release reviews. I didn't look for images or clips on the web. I didn't even read the graphic novel, even though I'm a huge Frank Miller fan. This was because, although I loved Sin City, I found myself comparing every scene to its corresponding frame in the comic book. I wanted to go into 300 more pure.

A new age has come, an age of freedom. And all will know that 300 Spartans gave their last breath to defend it.

There were ample reasons why I was so excited about this movie. First, I love Frank Miller. Batman: Year One, The Dark Knight Returns, Sin City, Daredevil. His graphic novels and comics have always hit me on a very visceral level, and I was sure that 300 wouldn't be any different, not reading it only because I wanted the purer film experience. Second, I have always loved Greek legend and lore. As a child, I read all about the Greek gods. As a teenager, I read the Illiad and Odyssey, not for any school assignment, but because I wanted to. In college, I read dozens of Greek plays, some for class but many for pleasure. And while the battle of Thermopylae certainly happened, this particular telling of it falls clearly in the legend and mythology category, not strict historical accuracy. Thirdly, this movie simply looked like a checklist of everything that I love in movies. Heroic men making speeches and fighting and dying for what they believe in. Strong women doing the same. Blood, sex, and magic, and lots of it. Strong and memorable visual, music, and dialog. Idealism.

This is where we fight! This is where they die!

So after 6 months of psyching myself up, there was certainly no way for the film to live up to my expectations. But it tried really damn hard. And I do love this film. For all of the reasons that I stated above. So what if the first half hour was a little slow. And the actual movie used different and more subdued musical cues than the trailers that I have drilled into my head. And that the inevitable betrayal was really obvious. Who cares? This movie ownes like few others, and I will see it again. And again. And again. "This is madness," you say?

MADNESS?

THIS IS SPARTA!

Re: The Departed

2007-02-26T22:59:00.000-06:00

I am a cynic by nature. Most of you know this. I am very quick to criticize and rare to praise. But what you may not know is how hard I actually work to avoid this. Although I know it may not seem that way to a casual observer, I actually do a pretty good job of catching my tongue. One of my occasional moments of indiscretion is what led to the fake MySpace page of a couple of weeks ago. So with that in mind, I'd like to talk a little bit about my conflicted feelings over The Departed, the movie that won the Academy Award for Best Picture, and won director Martin Scorcese his first Oscar in his fantastic career.

The cynic in me wants to complain about how this is simply a lifetime achievement award. The Departed is not as good a movie as Taxi Driver, Goodfellas, or Casino. (Some would add Raging Bull to that list. Not me, but that's a whole 'nother story). People have been clamoring that Scorcese was "due" for Bringing Out the Dead, Gangs of New York, and The Aviator, three good-but-not-great movies. The Departed is better than any of those, but still doesn't match the achievements of his hey-day.

The cynic in me wants to complain about how this is simply a remake of an already fantastic Hong Kong movie called Infernal Affairs. That The Departed was really unnecessary because it didn't add anything to an already great film. And I do wholly recommend that anyone who liked The Departed check out Infernal Affairs.

The cynic in me wants to complain. But I'm not. Because, you know what? The Departed is a great movie. I saw it twice in the theater and will certainly buy it on DVD. It had fantastic character work by Alec Baldwin and Marky Mark. Solid lead performances by Leo DiCaprio and Matt Damon. A terrific adaptation of the Infernal Affairs script. Perfect use of music (I'll never here Gimme Shelter by the Stones again without thinking of the movie). And filmed by Scorcese with an energy that he hasn't tapped into in years, since Casino at least. So what if is isn't on quite the same level as Goodfellas? Why should that be held against this movie? For the first time in several years the Oscar went to the best new release film that I saw that year (Although, to be fair, I've only also seen Little Miss Sunshine. Babel is coming up soon in my Netflix queue, and I still have several non-nominated films to get through before I decide on my true favorite of 2006). I completely recommend it (except to you mom . . .and any one else who gets squeamish around bad language and violence), cynic in me be damned.

Why I Hate Valentine’s Day

2007-02-14T13:12:00.000-06:00

A Diatribe by Wiley Page

Although many of you will dismiss it as such, this will not be the lament of a single person on a couple's holiday. As a matter of fact, there is no one day of the year that I more prefer to be single. My dislike of this day does not stem from any depression, jealousy, or bitterness. I really and truly believe that Valentine's Day cuts to the heart of many things that I don't like about humankind.

First, and least of all, is the crass commercialism. Like almost every holiday in this country, Valentine's Day has been overrun by the likes of Hallmark, Stover's, and FTD, whose clever marketing have convinced us that we need to buy their products to fully participate in the holiday. But this is not the card and candy makers' fault. They're just filling a demand that exists in our society. The real problem lies deeper.

Namely, sentimentalism. One of my least favorite phrase in the English language is "It's the thought that counts." Screw that. I honestly don't give a damn if you're thinking of me or not. How does that affect my life in any way? Actions count. Help me move my pool table. Tell me about a movie you think I'd like. Take me out to dinner. Lend me a book. Don't send me a Valentine's Day card (even a hand-written one to avoid supporting Hallmark) with a sentimental message. I'll file it in the same place that I keep every Birthday and Christmas card I've ever received. The garbage can.

But what I really hate is the sense of obligation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying someone you love a present. There is absolutely everything wrong about having to prove your love with a present. If you are buying your significant other roses/chocolate/jewelry because you don't want to get in trouble, that is absolute insincerity. And if you demand gifts from someone as proof of their love, that is absolutely despicable. And lest you think this is a "Battle of the Sexes" type situation and I'm just a guy who thinks flowers and candy are dumb (be that as it may), in many Asian cultures the situation is reversed. It is women who are obligated to buy the gifts. In fact there is a Japanese tradition on Valentine's Day called giri-choko, which means "an obligation of chocolate" whereby a woman has to buy every significant male in their life chocolates. This is every bit as bad. Gifts given as an obligation are not gifts. They are taxes.

People tell me, "Just wait 'till you're in a serious relationship, then you'll understand." My usual counter to that is "Why do you think I'm not in a serious relationship right now?" This essay was not just me carrying on. This is what I truly believe, and any girl who expects me to behave differently will be sorely disappointed next year on February 14th.

A Wii Bit of Success

2007-01-25T22:44:00.000-06:00

I woke up this morning, took a shower, and then checked my email, like normal. Much to my surprise, I had a message from one of my professors, canceling my only class for the day. As I sat around trying to figure out what to do with my newly free day, I happened to check one of those handy online Nintendo Wii inventory trackers. As many of you know, I have been searching for a Wii ever since launch day, but unwilling to camp out in front of a store for the right to purchase one. Well, imagine my surprise, the website said that the Opelika Target had them available. I really didn't believe it. But, since I had nothing else to do, I figured it at least required a really futile and stupid gesture on somebody's part, and I was just the guy to do it.

But I was wrong. I walked back to electronics and sitting behind the glass were about a dozen shiny new Wii's. I was freaking out. There was no one around. No geeks waiting. But no one was working in the department either. So I pressed the help button. And waited. And waited. For what felt like half an hour, but was probably something closer to two minutes. Finally, a worker showed up, unlocked the case and extracted a Wii and Zelda. Victory was mine!

So now, I have made a half-dozen Mii's, honed my skills in tennis and baseball, and worked through the first three hours of Zelda. I'm sure this will only be a benefit as all of my classes start to ramp up. Anyway, if any of you are cool like me, my Wii Friend Code is [0869 2825 0319 2439]. I don't know exactly how much we can do at this point (no online games yet), but our Mii's can wave at each other!

Signs of Life

2007-01-23T22:06:00.000-06:00

War Eagle you mighty Auburn Tigers.

Tonight you have defeated the vile, villainous miscreants from across the state. While that statement has almost become old hat (yet never old) on the gridiron, on the hardwood you have suffered too long at the hands of the Crimson Tide. Seven times in a row you have battled and lost, but NO MORE! Even may it be temporary, you sit in the catbird seat of the SEC West. So enjoy it, and may it be a sign of greater things to come; a sign that our basketball program has finally emerged from the long winter of the last few years. May you join your football brethren in your rightful place: the best team in the state.

Something I had forgotten.

2007-01-09T22:03:00.000-06:00

Jennifer Morrison is a very beautiful woman.

For those not in the know, she plays Dr. Allison Cameron on House M.D., one of my very favorite television shows. Anyone familiar with the show is probably wondering how I could have forgotten that fact. I mean, look at her. It's obvious, right?

Well, the problem stems from the fact that after I moved from Huntsville to Auburn, and thereby switched cable providers, I lost the FOX network's high definition feed. As a matter of fact, my HD package here consisted of exactly two channels: ESPNHD and Discovery HD Theater. Anyone who spent any time around me last semester heard me bitch and moan about that fact, I know. But I received a very pleasant surprise when I got back to Auburn following my Christmas break. They had added the four major networks in high definition! I got to enjoy the Sugar Bowl and the Faux National Championship game (go Gators! [*shudder* I can't believe I just said that]) as God intended them to be seen.

And tonight I rediscovered the beauty of Jennifer Morrison. And I look forward to rediscovering Evangeline Lilly, Jenna Fischer, Ali Larter, and Kiefer Sutherland (don't worry, I just have a totally hetero man-crush on Jack Bauer). I have seen the future and it has one thousand and eighty lines of horizontal resolution.

With Friends Like These . . .

2007-01-05T22:31:00.000-06:00

I have a longstanding hatred of MySpace. I think that people's sites are almost universally loud, ugly, and rife of information that I don't give a damn about (much like this blog on that last point for most of you, I'm sure). I have been steadfastly obstinate about not making a page, refusing to join in. Because of it I have been called no-fun, anti-social, and a hater of puppies and rainbows (not that I would disagree with any of that).

Well, now that option has been taken away from me. Due to some overly honest comments I made after having a little too much to drink, a group of my "friends" got together and made a page for me. It is . . . entertaining . . .to say the least.

But I can take a joke. In fact, I believe that being made fun of is a sign of flattery and respect. Or at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So, for your entertainment, here is a link.

If the creators of the page ever give me my login information, I will promptly delete the page because my desire to have one hasn't changed at all. But, until that point, enjoy.

**EDIT**
I finally got control of the page. I didn't delete it completely like I originally threatened to do, but it is quite a bit more . . . sparse . . . than it was.

A Champion

2007-01-02T10:10:00.000-06:00

If I had a vote in the AP or any other poll, I would vote Boise State number two. And if Florida manages to overcome Ohio State next Monday, then they would get bumped to number one. I believe in Boise.

Their crazy-good win over Oklahoma last night more than validates their undefeated season. It points out the absolute ridiculousness of the fact that people can sit around, point to your unbeaten team, and say "I just don't think you deserve a shot at a title," and have that be the final say in the matter. There is no longer any defense of the current system. As badly as Auburn got screwed two years ago, at least there was an impossible choice that had to be made between a gaggle of undefeated teams. This time, not only was an undefeated team passed over for one of many one loss teams, it was completely disregarded. In fact, if not for a rule change this year, they wouldn't have even gotten their shot at Oklahoma.

Do I think that Boise State is a better team than Florida, USC, or Louisville? Probably not. But I believe that for one game, the team that I saw last night in the Fiesta Bowl could hang with and beat any team in the nation.

Burnout

2006-12-10T17:19:00.000-06:00

For the first time in quite a while, I am completely burned out from school. Probably since the semester of senior design during my undergraduate career when I got so tired of classes that I mistakenly decided that I didn't want to go straight to grad school. (Don't worry, I'm not about to make a similar mistake now.)

Over the past month I've taken two take-home exams that took more that 12 hours each to complete. I have written three 10 page papers. I have completed one very complex networking project. And now I'm in the middle of finals. And that doesn't include the fact that I work 20-24 hours a week. I went almost a month with no turnover in my Netflix queue. I haven't read anything for pleasure. I haven't even been updating this blog.

I think that most of my regular readers know that I don't exactly hold a high opinion of the University of Alabama at Huntsville, where I received my Master's degree. Not that I'm complaining a whole lot, but I basically breezed through my curriculum there without ever putting any more effort into classes than I did as an undergrad. I guess I was just used to that when I came into class here at Auburn. Even back at the beginning of the semester I realized that I was doing more work for less classes that I ever really had before, but I still let it pile up on me creating the terrible last two weeks.

But now it's almost over. One more final to go, then I can try and recharge before the next semester starts. I plan to do little except play video games, read, and watch movies and football for three weeks. I might even try to backdate some entries here about my adventures in Tuscaloosa, New York, and my continuing failure to purchase a Nintendo Wii.

Election Day

2006-11-07T23:46:00.000-06:00

I spend about 729 days out of every two year period being disillusioned with politics. I'm not exactly sure when that happened. I used to be a political junkie. I watched CNN and Fox News every day, scoured the internet, had a subscription to Newsweek. I worked in Montgomery and enjoyed hearing first-hand about the goings-on of insider politics.

But, that just kind of cooled over time. Part of is is that I'm a moderate-to-serious Libertarian who doesn't have a lot of use for the PATRIOT Act, the Department of Homeland Security, or their ilk. Part of it is that I'm annoyed that my technology is being regulated by a man who believes the internet is made of tubes. Part of it is that I'm just plain sick and tired of partisanship bickering, out of control lobbying, and Congressmen boning 16 year old boys.

On the 730th day of that two year period, however, I still find myself drawn to the television, hanging on every election return. Staying up till the wee hours of the morning to find out who is going to be the new representative of Hawaii. Not getting enough of Brokaw, Russert, and Wolf Blitzer. I love it.

Tomorrow, I guess I'll stick my nose back to my computer monitor and forget about the state of the world. But tonight, I'm not going to sleep until I know if Missourians are going to ban stem cell research, if the Democrats are going to take the Senate as well as the House, or if Virginians are actually going to re-elect the Macacca guy.

The View From the Afternoon

2006-10-13T15:26:00.000-05:00

Although most of my regular readers already know this, I realized recently that I've never mentioned it on my blog. I recently started working for the Athletic Department as a graduate assistant to their IT director. The job consists mostly of diagnosing broken laptops, dealing with the various databases (tickets, athlete info, etc), and doing small development projects to make the athletic support staffs' lives easier. I deal mostly with the various support offices (NCAA compliance, Student-Athlete counselors, etc) more so than the athletes or coaches.

I also have a spectacular view from the lobby outside of my computer lab, which I thought I would share.

Media Bias

2006-09-30T16:35:00.000-05:00

I normally try to avoid complaining about how the sports media is "out to get us". I'm sure that any Auburn fans who watched College Football Gameday this morning were screaming at the TV as the three hosts came to a consensus agreement that Auburn most definitely was not the second best team in the nation. But, honestly, after the last two games I don't think that we are either. And, really, most teams feel that way at one point or another. I've read many letters to the editor from fans of Ohio St., LSU, Miami, Florida St., and other schools that have had fantastic success yet still feel that the media is trying to hold them down.

But astute readers will notice a key word in the previous paragraph. That word is "most". There are a couple of teams that the media does love without reservation. Teams like Notre Dame, USC, and, especially, the University of Alabama.

I'm watching the Alabama/Florida game. It is currently halftime with Alabama up 10-7. On the whole, Alabama has looked like the better team. And I have learned many interesting facts. Did you know that Alabama reciever Tyrone Prothro was "without question, the best player in the SEC" before his injury. Or that Mike Shula was "one of the top coaches in the SEC", with a 5 minute discourse defending his decisions in the final minutes and overtime of the Arkansas game last weekend (Run up the middle 3 times and let your kicker who has already missed twice try a 45 yarder. Brilliant!!). But my personal favorite was when they favorably compared QB John Parker Wilson to Tom Brady.

But, as I often say to anyone who starts complaining about the media, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, as long as Auburn wins, I'm happy. Especially when that win will be the fifth in a row over a rival at Jordan-Hare Stadium West (located in beautiful Tuscaloosa, AL).

An Unwarranted Disclaimer

2006-09-25T22:39:00.000-05:00

I have been known, from time to time, to call All The King's Men by Robert Penn Warren my favorite book of all time. If it's not, it's certainly in the mix. So it was with great trepidation that I approached the recent film inspired by said novel. In the past, some of my favorite books have been made into great movies (Lord of the Rings) and not so great (I, Robot). I have also been disappointed by very good movies because I had previously read the book, which was better (Jurassic Park). This particular adaptation has met with tremendously bad reviews (11% positive at rottentomatoes.com).

Well, I didn't think it was that bad. It did, however, feel like a Reader's Digest version of the book. Warren's novel is incredibly dense (and I mean that in the best possible way). The previous (Oscar winning) adaptation handled this by focusing almost entirely on the political aspects of the story. This one tried to cram most everything into just over two hours, so a lot of the scenes lacked the resonance and impact that they should have had.

But I'm not really hear to review the film. Instead, I want to take issue with something that I noticed in the ending credits.

At the end of the movie, after all the actors' and crew's names had rolled by, there was the fairly standard disclaimer that "The characters and events in this film are fictitious. Any similarity with real people and events is mere coincidence ". You'll see that phrase or something similar at the end of most movies.

Only, this time, it is not at all true.

All The King's Men is most definitely and purposefully based on the life of Huey P. Long, former governor of Louisiana. I wrote a term paper for my Great Books II class about just how closely Warren used Long's life as a model for his novel. If you read a biography of Long, be prepared to have many of the events of the film (or novel) spoiled for you.

I know they use that disclaimer for legal purposes, so that they can't be sued by someone claiming the movie was based on their life. But I still find it amusing that they would use it in this case where it certainly is not true.

A Noble Plan Gone Awry

2006-09-14T20:30:00.000-05:00

If you examine me on a genetic level, you would see that I am mostly composed of genes earned from my father's Page family. Not only do I look like a Page, I have the same laid back, easy going attitude that my father exhibits. I have very little of my mother's much more hot-blooded Bates heritage.

Well, except for one thing.

I do have a very strong stubborn streak. Especially when I become faced with the fact that I made a bad decision. I would rather go down with the ship than admit defeat. Sometimes I am able to control such a feeling. But today was not such a day.

Today there was a blood drive at the student union. I am a regular blood donor, so of course I decided to stop by and drop a pint during my lunch break between classes. I arrived at the Foy ballroom at about 12:15, an hour and forty-five minutes before my next class. Plenty of time, right?

Well, I didn't realize it, but they had allowed people to make appointments beforehand. So, there was one line for appointments and one line for walk-ins. And the appointment line was backlogged. Still, they said the wait would only be an hour to an hour and a half. No problem.

Fast forward to 1:50. I really need to be heading to my Software Architecture class. I have moved forward three spots in line. This is where the stubbornness kicks in. I'd be damned if I was going to just pick up and leave after I'd been sitting there for an hour and a half. Dr. Hamilton would get over it.

Fast forward to 3:20. I really need to be heading to my Information Security class. But I'm at the front of the line! I can't leave now! Not after 3 freaking hours! So I continued to sit through another class.

Finally, at 3:35 my name was called. My blood was let, and I received my sticker and free t-shirt. I actually could have made it for the last 45 minutes of class. Yeah. Like that was going to happen.

So, nameless stranger. Enjoy the blood. It should do you well, even if it is tainted by frustration and stubbornness.

War Eagle

2006-09-01T19:22:00.000-05:00

I love Auburn.  For many reasons, but here's the latest.

I went to the liquor store today.  (I had to buy whiskey for my super special grilling sauce, mom.)  Anyway, the first thing I noticed when I arrived was that the lot was full.  I literally had to circle around waiting for someone to leave just so I could park.  Once I got inside, there were four cash registers open and lines at each.

And this was at two in the afternoon.

This can really only mean one thing.  Football is in the air.  And we War Eaglers know how to tailgate proper.

Go Tigers!

Quote of the Day

2006-08-24T13:46:00.000-05:00

"Man, my brother better step up his game. Auburn probably won't do
that for him [put his picture on promotional material] because he's an
ugly guy. His looks might hurt his Heisman campaign. It sure won't
help. But if there was an award for being ugly, he'd definitely win it
hands down."

-Auburn cornerback David Irons on his brother Kenny's Heisman chances

Isn't brotherly love great!

Back to the Grind

2006-08-17T17:35:00.000-05:00

Today was my first day of class at Auburn in 3 years. Dunstan Hall is everything I remember, except for the jackhammers from the new comp-sci building that they are constructing next door. It's strange having class in the morning, something that they didn't believe in at UAH. Some may thing that going back to morning classes is a negative, but I'd much rather be starting class at 8 in the morning than not getting out until 8 at night, which was the case more often than not in Huntsville.

I'm taking three classes, Network Security, Wireless and Mobile Networks, and Software Architecture. The first is going to be my concentration, the second is a subject that I'm very interested in and don't know enough about, and the third . . . well at least I like the teacher.

I was a little surprised (well, not really) that I saw a couple of familiar students from my first go-around at Auburn. I guess it really is a place that's hard to let go of . . .

Brick

2006-08-10T15:24:00.000-05:00

One of the reasons I started this blog was to talk about movies and music. Somehow that mandate has slipped to the wayside, probably because of the shear quantity of movies that I watch and the fact that I can't seem to post something new more than once a week. Well, let my try to rectify that a bit by telling you about a film I watched last night.

The movie is called Brick. Its a film noir set in a modern high school. And they play it absolutely straight. These teenagers chew through scenes with dialog like "I've got all five of my senses and I slept last night which puts me six up on the lot of you" and relish it. Occasionally an adult will drift through their world and have no idea that they are in a noir. The parents offer their kids sandwiches like any normal parent, not realizing that as soon as they leave the room someone will say something like "Ask any dope rat where their junk sprang and they'll say they scraped it from that who scored it from this who bought it off so and after four or five connections the list always ends with the Pin."

Somehow the writer mapped every character you'd recognize from high school into a comparable character from a Raymond Chandler novel. The femme fatale is the star of drama class. The too-smart-for-his-own-good sidekick is a study hall geek. The tough guys are all jocks. The underlord of the crime world is the local drug dealer. The hard-ass police commissioner is the vice principal (VP).

And who is the hard nosed dick who pushes too hard with the wrong questions? Joseph Gordon-Levitt, best know as Tommy from Third Rock from the Sun. He's the already-jaded-at-17 guy who thinks he's smarter and better than everyone at school. The guy who has something on everybody even though he doesn't have any real friends. The guy who can even push the teachers around if he needs too. That may be why I like this movie so much. I think I was that guy once.

The movie delves into murder and drug deals, sex and intrigue, all the things you would expect from a film noir except played out by teenagers. And they somehow found the pitch perfect notes to hit. This is a movie that could have . . .should have been absolutely ridiculous. But it's not. It is hands down the coolest movie I've watched in a long time and I can't recommend it highly enough.

I Didn't Think it Possible!

2006-07-29T09:01:00.000-05:00

Because of the limited space within my new residence, I came up with an interesting idea to reduce clutter. As I own a high definition television set, I decided to let it double as my computer monitor. While HD seems like awesome resolution while you're watching TV or movies, it is a little low for things such as word processing or web browsing. But that doesn't matter, since I have a laptop to handle that aspect of computing on. I could use my desktop as a gaming machine and media center, and my laptop for everything else.

Since my computer was to be a media center, I set about ripping all of my television that I own on DVD to my hard drive so that I can watch it in iTunes (bite me MPAA, you will never convince me that doesn't fall under "fair use") with random playlists and whatnot. The problem with buying television shows that you're already a fan of is that it is hard to find the time to actually go back and re-watch all of the episodes. As such, I own the first six seasons of Seinfeld, yet had never put most of the discs in my DVD player. Anyway, as I was ripping them and inputting the episode titles, I came across a description of an episode that I didn't remember.

Could it be?

So I watched said episode. It was the 22nd episode of season 4, titled "The Handicapped Spot". It involved the group searching for a parking spot at a mall, finally deciding on a handicapped spot, and coming out to find an angry mob waiting on them because a handicapped person had been unable to park there. The mob trashed the car, which happen to belong to George's father. Humor ensued.

And, as far as I can remember, I have never seen this episode before. When it comes to television, I basically have two all-time favorite shows. I'm notoriously bad at narrowing things down to just one pick (be it movies, music, books, whatever), so I divide my TV favorites into dramatic and comedic categories. In the drama department, it is Babylon 5. And in comedy it is Seinfeld. It has been several years since I had stumbled across an episode that I had never seen before. I cannot help but watch it whenever I find a rerun showing. And, depending on current line-ups, that can be as many as 5 or 6 a day. I thought that I had seen every single episode not just once, but dozens of times.

So, why hadn't I seen this particular episode? Chance? Maybe. The only thing that I can figure is that it aired before Jerry Stiller had been cast as George's father. Some guy named John Randolph played the part. But even that doesn't make complete sense, as I have seen "The Stakeout" on TV several times, which features another actor playing Jerry's dad, not Barney Martin.

Anyway, I find the whole matter very strange. It was a pretty good episode, too. Who knows, maybe I'll find another gem as I continue to buy the show as new box sets come out.

All That Is Old Is New Again

2006-07-20T22:56:00.000-05:00

So, just in case you haven't heard, I live in Auburn again. I have somehow managed to squeeze into my closet of a condominium. I have to move the bed to get to the closet, but it works. Its amazing how quickly I've gotten back in the old habits. For instance, I'm a long shower kind of guy. Twenty minutes is nothing for me. But my hot water heater here is in proportion to the rest of the apartment, so I've only got about ten minutes of hot water. 15 if you're willing to go luke-warm, which I'm certainly not (scalding hot and knock you down pressure is the only way to go). But I haven't gotten caught with shampoo in my hair yet.

Also, the one-basin sink thing means that you can't allow dishes to pile up or your sink is quickly rendered useless. So I've gotten back in the habit of washing dishes as I use them. That's definitely a good thing, but its something I haven't had to worry about for a few years.

I've also become a regular handy-man. I replaced the ratty carpet with hardwood laminate flooring last month before I moved in. Since arriving, I've run piping to my refrigerator to hook up an ice maker. I have installed a garbage disposal. I have put up more shelves to store the excessive number of books I own. I put up curtains.

So, anyway, sorry for the mundane update, but that's what I've been doing for the last week or so.

Breaking News!

2006-07-14T21:21:00.000-05:00

Football players take creampuff classes! I am shocked, SHOCKED!

Next thing you'll tell me is that football players get laid a lot or that they don't pay full sticker price for those SUV's they all drive around . . .

A Matter of Perspective

2006-07-05T21:04:00.000-05:00

Today I made an impromptu trip from Andalusia to Auburn to deliver a bed to my new/old apartment. After three years of making the Huntsville-Auburn trek (average time: four hours), the two hour trip up winding Highway 29 seemed like a pleasant Sunday drive. Back when I was an undergrad, the same "Sunday drive" was an interminable haul that I hated making. I guess after a semester or two I'll be back to feeling that way.

But, for now, I'm looking forward to the trip back.

Most of my friends are interstate warriors. They'd rather hop on the interstate, set their cruise control at 10 mph over the speed limit and just ride. Not me. Give me a two-lane blacktop that winds through the woods. A road that follows the lay of the land instead of one that blasted through it. I love downshifting to third gear, hugging a tight corner and blasting into the straightaway. I love passing the old pickup puttering at 35. I just love driving. And droning along on the interstate isn't driving. This probably explains why I liked the movie Cars more than most.

Anyway, I'm rambling. But I just wanted to explain myself to my Andalusia friends who think I'm crazy for taking 29 instead of the interstate.

Futbol

2006-06-24T16:35:00.000-05:00

I've never been much of a soccer fan, but since I'm a pretty liberal guy (at least by the classical definition of the word), I figured that I'd catch a little multicultural fever and watch some World Cup action. It has been a pretty interesting experience. While it certainly will never replace American Football in my book, I am beginning to appreciate it a little more.

But there is one problem that I do have with the game. So, please, and I know that at least two of my regular readers are soccer fans, someone defend the sport against this statement.

Stoppage time is the stupidest concept in all sports.

It's dumber than the halo rule in football. Makes less sense than the infield fly rule in baseball. Is more ridiculous than the fact that people consider curling a sport.

How can you have a timed game where not only is there no such thing as time management, you don't even really know how much time there is. At the end of every game, the clock reaches 90 minutes and then keeps counting up until the ref finally blows his whistle, sometimes 3 or 4 minutes later. No one but the ref really knows how much time is left.

I really think that it would be a major improvement to the game to reduce game-time to 60 minutes and allow the clock to stop on penalties, injuries, and maybe even time-outs. The game would be about the same length and it would make end-game much easier to manage.

Or maybe I'm just a stupid American who really needs the real football season to start.

Inner Turmoil

2006-06-22T12:03:00.000-05:00

A movie came through my Netflix queue last week. It was called The Truce starring John Turturro as an Italian Jew recently freed from Auschwitz in the last days of WWII and trying to make his way home. Since I'm more than a year behind in my queue, I often get movies that I don't really remember adding or why I wanted to watch them in the first place. This is one of them, although I assume that it had something to do with my belief that Turturro is one of the most under-appreciated actors working today. He has the same ability to completely disappear into a role as Johnny Depp, except without the pretty-boy good looks.

Anyway, I watched the movie, returned it, and gave it a four star rating (out of five). There is only one problem. I don't think it was that good.

Turturro was excellent, as always, but the story was kind of meandering and melodramatic. OK, but not great. But, it really got me thinking about how hard it it to criticize a movie about the Holocaust.

I mean, of course, on some levels it is a story that can never be told enough. It is a story that should be told as often and in as many ways as possible, as a societal warning. But the film fan in me says that just because a subject is important, that doesn't automatically make the movie good.

Anyway, it does seem a little silly having an extended argument with myself over whether to give a movie 3 or 4 stars, but my Netflix ratings are something that I take fairly seriously. I think that their recommendation algorithms are fantastic, but they're precipitated on accurate ratings by me. It is extremely rare that I disagree with Netflix by more than a star value about a movie (Although, I must admit I always do take some pleasure when I don't like a movie that Netflix thinks that I should. It kind of takes the pain away from watching a bad movie.) There have been many occasions where I thought that a movie looked good, but Netflix said I wouldn't like it, and I watched it anyway, and then feel foolish when, of course, I don't.

So, do I give an accurate rating to a movie based on its quality, or let myself be swayed by the subject? Or, maybe I should just get a life and stop worrying about trifles like this . . .

What have I become?

2006-06-14T13:25:00.000-05:00

Two years ago, I was an avowed Apple hater. I mercilessly made fun of everything that they did and anyone who had a Mac.

Then I bought an iPod. "Its just a mp3 player," I said. No big deal. But if you have an iPod, you don't have much choice but to use iTunes. After holding out for a while, playing music in Winamp and only using iTunes for syncing, I finally gave in and let Apple manage my whole music library for me. Eventually, when Mountain Dew started giving away codes for free songs under their bottle caps, I began purchasing music from the iTunes Music Store.

Not long after that, I felt the need to break the chains of wired ethernet. I read about the Apple Airport Express, which would let me stream music wirelessly to my stereo, something I had been missing since I moved my computer and home entertainment center into different rooms. "Cool," I thought.

But that doesn't come anywhere close to where I find myself today. My loyal readers, just look at what I have become:

How pathetic am I? Not only do I find myself with a MacBook, I actually payed a $150 premium to get it painted black. So look at me. Just another Fruit.

So here's the moral. Don't buy an iPod. It really is the path to the dark side. Or at least the matte-black side.

Now That's How It's Done

2006-06-09T09:49:00.000-05:00

The MTV Movie Awards is so much better than the Oscars that it's not even funny.

And this is coming from an avowed MTV hater. I only watch MTV twice a year, once for the movie awards and again for the music awards. Other than that, well, lets just say that I harbor secret fantasies of finding the Real World house and piping gas in while they're asleep.

But they do know how to throw a party.

Now I'm not saying that their choice of winners is the greatest (Wedding Crashers best picture? I mean I liked it, but still . . .). But they do understand how to present everything in such a slick fashion. I mean, even the banter between award presenters is funny!

I think that the real difference is that the MTV producers realize that movies are first and foremost entertainment. Hollywood people sometimes get their heads stuck so far up their own asses about their 'art' that they forget that fact. At the MTV awards everything from the presenters to the clips and montages to the acceptance speeches themselves are so much more irreverent and playing to the crowd. And that makes it so much more watchable.

And, you know what, I take back what I said about the winners. At least the best movie that I saw last year, Sin City, was nominated for an MTV award!

A New Dot on the Radar

2006-05-31T13:14:00.000-05:00

I really haven't had a whole lot of interest in "The Breakup", the new Vince Vaughn/Jennifer Aniston movie that opens this weekend. The previews aren't bad, and I am a pretty big Vaughn fan, but I had just assumed that it would devolve into your normal sappy romantic comedy that I normally hate so much.

But then, this review popped up on Ain't It Cool News:

"this absolutely is not the cute date movie many are hoping it will be. . . if you're an indie lover, really dig 'uncomfortable' films or just have a general distaste for typical Hollywood romantic comedies, then by all means check this out . . .Closer in tone to The Good Girl, War of the Roses and the last half of Chasing Amy, this film is anything but heart warming . . ."

My interest is piqued.

Damned if you do . . .

2006-05-24T12:13:00.000-05:00

I am so schizophrenic when it comes to my opinions about films based on real people or events. They're almost always a frustrating experience for me.

Stories about real events don't normally fit into a nice "three act" structure. So, I will often criticize bio-pics for being "uneven" or not coming to nice and neat conclusions. Even movies that I realize are technically great (that is, made with great cinematographic, directorial, and acting skill), I just cannot get fully behind. Raging Bull is normally my classic example. While the acting in that movie was fantastic and look and feel (direction and cinematography) were perfect, I just didn't find Jake LaMotta that interesting of a subject. I felt that the movie meandered between highs and low, much like real life. But I just didn't find it an interesting story, which, for me, is the most important part of a movie.

On the other, just last night I watched Finding Neverland, the bio-pic about J.M. Barrie, the author of Peter Pan. This was a wonderful little film about innocence and creativity, which used real events to tell a story. Except, for the sake of the story, some pretty important events were changed. Most notably, in the movie Barrie became enthralled with a widow and her children. But in real life, the woman wasn't a widow. This changes the real Barrie's actions from charitable to kind of creepy. But, that wouldn't have made as good a story. Even though I understand this, I still can't help but criticize the movie for altering facts, which detracts from my enjoyment of it.

So a story about real life is uneven, and real life manipulated to tell a story is untruthful. I know that there is a line in between the two which can be walked, and many movies have done so successfully. But one step to either side of the line will always frustrate me.

The Race for Governor of Alabama

2006-05-18T08:51:00.000-05:00

Ah, how fun is politics in Alabama? We have a Republican candidate who thinks that homosexuals deserve the death penalty and who was already booted from his previous office for violating a federal court order over a two-ton rock. We also have a Democratic candidate who just doesn't see why a little thing like an indictment and trial should get in the way of his campaign. This is normally the point where I'd say "Vote Libertarian", but it turns out that the Libertarian candidate doesn't wear panties.

So, although he certainly hasn't been the greatest governor, I'm on the re-elect Riley bandwagon, just on the shear principal that he's the only one who wouldn't be an embarrassment to the state.

I'm in.

2006-05-05T11:11:00.000-05:00

Dear Mr. George W Page:

The Committee on Graduate Study in Computer Science and Software Engineering--On Campus Option has contacted the Graduate School concerning your application for admission. I am in agreement with their recommendation and would like to congratulate you on your admission to Auburn University in the Computer Science and Software Engineering--On Campus Option program. A formal acceptance letter containing more detailed information will be mailed today. Because of delays in surface and air mail, I wanted to share this decision with you immediately via e-mail.

Eponymity

2006-05-01T15:20:00.000-05:00

What is it about an album that would make a band say "Yes, this is the one that will be self-titled." Other than for a first album, I just don't get it. Is it a lack of creativity? Originality? Or do they really think that this one is special. And what happens if you release one later that is better (of course Led Zeppelin solved that problem by putting out Led Zeppelin I, II, III, and IV).

What the hell am I talking about? Well, Pearl Jam has a new album coming out tomorrow (May 2), but thanks to Ten Club I got a copy of it on Friday and have been listening to it all weekend. The album is quite succinctly named "Pearl Jam". Ten, Vs., Vitology, No Code, Yield, Binaural, Riot Act. And now Pearl Jam. So what is it about this album that it gets the eponymous label?

I mean, it's good. It'll take a while to solidify its rankings in the PJ discography, but right now I'd put it on about the same level as Binaural, Yield, and No Code. Which puts it a step below the "classic three" Ten, Vs, Vitology, and the (IMHO) underrated Riot Act.

Am I reading too much into this? Probably. It doesn't really affect anything. Its a solid PJ album and any Jam Fans will love it. Its not going to win over any new listeners, but Pearl Jam quit trying to do that a long time ago (something I admire about them, actually). While it certainly isn't the definitive Pearl Jam album as the name might indicate (and I don't really thing that there could be any such thing), it fits right into the catalog, and will get plenty of playtime on my iPod.

Disproportionism

2006-04-28T12:15:00.000-05:00

The other day I just happened to be perusing the Federal Sentencing Guidelines and found this very interesting document. Did you know that the average sentence for arson is 60 months? Or that the average sentence for sexual assault is 73 months? Counterfeiting is 12 months and auto theft is 60.

Given these guidelines, it certainly makes perfect sense that under a new bill being introduced to Congress that you can get 10 years (120 months) for small scale, non-commercial copyright infringement*. I mean, sharing a few songs or movies is the moral equivalent of kidnapping/hostage taking (also 120 months), isn't it?

There is only one thing about this that I find kind of strange. The average sentence for burglary is just 24 months. So, you'd be better off robbing Best Buy than using Bit Torrent.

*Yes, I know that I'm comparing a maximum sentence to average sentences, but still . . .

A Thank You

2006-04-24T13:50:00.000-05:00

I just want to give major kudos to Griffin Smith who designed my cool new banner that's at the top of the page.

Where's Waldo

2006-04-19T22:24:00.000-05:00

I guess that Matt and Trey really did get the last laugh.

Mohammad had appeared in the opening credits of every episode this season. See if you can find him.

P.S. For those who watched tonight's episode, didn't Oprah's asshole remind you of Mr. Humphreys from "Are You Being Served?".

A Jihad on Me

2006-04-18T22:19:00.000-05:00

Last week on South Park, they did an episode about the Dutch Mohammad cartoon scandal. At the end of the episode, when it came time to actually show Mohammad, they instead showed a message that said "Comedy Central has refused to broadcast an image of Mohammad on their network". I, as well as most people who watched the episode, thought that this was a gag. That they were being ironic in doing an episode about how wrong censorship was, and then censoring something.

That is incorrect.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker fully intended to show Mohammad. Comedy Central really did censor the clip. If you want to risk a Jihad being called down on your head, see the uncensored clip for yourself.

I really don't know what to say about this. It is just wrong on so many levels. I just can't believe Matt and Trey haven't been making a bigger stink about this.

A Real Man's Solution

2006-04-15T00:55:00.000-05:00

I've talked before about my anti-social tendencies. As a result, the sum total of my social interaction with my neighbors is me spying on them through the cracks in my blinds. Don't judge me.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon, I heard the guy across the street from me cussing up a storm and beating his lawn mower (a dinky little push mower) with a wrench. It appeared that he was about halfway through with his lawn when it quit on him. And it wasn't responding to his resuscitation efforts.

Fast forward twenty-four hours. I hear a mower going, so I take a peak outside. He now has a brand new riding lawn mower. And not just one of those push-mower-with-a-seat things either. This is a John Deer tractor with a mower deck. It is so big and has such a large turning radius that he has to cheat into the road just to get it turned around after every pass.

That, my friends, is how a real man solves problems.

A Step Too Far

2006-04-04T10:35:00.000-05:00

Warning. There be spoilers here. I know that as many as two or three of my tens of readers watch the show 24 on DVD, so you might want to watch out about finding out something that you didn't want to know.

I watch the show 24, and have ever since the very beginning. Yes, I know that the show can be kind of cheesy and extremely unrealistic at times, and is about politics that under normal circumstances I would disagree with. But, to me, enjoying 24 is a lot like enjoying McDonald's chicken nuggets. They're really good as long as you don't think about them too much.

The best thing about 24 is, of course, its main character, Jack Bauer. I really love the fact that a major network airs a show who's protagonist has murdered two people in cold blood, once executed one of his co-workers simply to stall for time with a group of terrorists, and decapitated an otherwise innocent drug dealer just so he could carry the head around in a duffel bag to impress bad guys while he was under cover. He is the very definition of a solutions-oriented person. And just maybe a bit of a sociopath.

And I've always forgiven the show's unrealism. I don't mind the fact that they barely pay lip service to travel time, because I don't particularly care about seeing Jack stuck in Los Angeles rush hour gridlock for two episodes. I think its cool that Jack can be shot, blown up, tortured, etc, and still keep going for twenty-four hours straight. I've even bought the ridiculously convoluted plots that the terrorists come up with, because they have to make a full season out of it.

But last night, they took it a step too far. This season had been going really well so far. Every episode kept ratcheting up the tension. The death count was ridiculously high (5 "opening title" type characters, including 4 who have been around multiple seasons are no longer with the show). But last night, they threw in a twist that came from so far out of left field . . . No forget that, this show was playing baseball and this twist came off the football field. And I love a good Kyser Soze, Tyler Durden, redefine everything that came before it type twist. But in both of those cases the twist was effective because you realized that it made sense. The one last night didn't. Not even remotely. I've been thinking about it all night, and I cannot think of anything that would have foreshadowed this. In fact, every action that this character has taken so far this season is directly contrary to what was revealed.

Of course, I'll still watch the show. I'm hopelessly addicted. But they better come up with a damn good explanation of why last night's episode makes sense.

Ben Stiller

2006-03-29T16:07:00.000-06:00

It has got to be really awesome to be one of Ben Stiller's friends.

A few years ago, Ben Stiller directed a sitcom pilot for Fox called Heat Vision and Jack, starring none other than Jack Black. It was never picked up, and I had never heard of it until recently. But, thanks to the anti-memory hole that is the Internet, it has recently resurfaced. (watch it here). So, I downloaded it and watched it. I quickly discovered the reason it was never picked up. It was terrible.

The show was supposed to be a parody of 80s cheese action shows, like The A-Team and especially Night Rider. But they played it wayyy too straight. Instead of being funny for making fun of those shows, it was intentionally unintentionally funny. Which just doesn't work. The pilot is amusing, but there's no way I would have watched the show on a regular basis.

Anyway, back to my original point. In the show, Jack Black gets to make out with Ben Stiller's incredibly hot wife, Christine Taylor. That got me to thinking about how that's a pretty common occurrence in Stiller's projects. Vince Vaughn got to in Dodgeball. So did Owen Wilson in Zoolander. I know that people married to actors have to get used to their spouse kissing other people as part of the roles. But there's a big difference between not minding it and actively casting your wife to swap spit with one of your friends.

Anyway, Ben, if you're reading this, I'm available if you need a geek with no acting experience for your next movie . . .

Bracketology

2006-03-26T18:57:00.000-06:00

Coming into this weekend, I thought I was pretty hot stuff. In my NCAA Bracket, I had 12 of my Sweet 16 teams survive the first round. That also included 7 of my Elite 8's and all of my Final 4's. I was expecting eternal fame and glory, and kicking myself for not putting any money on it.

After this weekend of games, that pretty much all went to hell. I was pretty happy on Thursday. I correctly called LSU to upset Duke, and for UCLA to top Gonzaga, both of which went against conventional wisdom. Then my teams started falling. I watched as, one by one, my Final Four teams dropped out. Boston College. Texas. UConn. UCLA did make it through the weekend, but I didn't have them making the Championship Game, so they won't earn me any more points.

Oh well, at least I didn't do as badly as last year when I lost to my friend Frank, who was only in my league because I wanted an even number of people playing and who picked teams pretty much at random.

But still. George Mason. Really?

Aggravation

2006-03-21T17:56:00.000-06:00

I think that my feelings on reality television are pretty well known. I hate stupid, whiny, dumb, bitchy, idiotic people in real life, so why the hell would I ever want to allow them on my television? But, with that said, I've never really had a problem with American Idol. Not that I sit around and watch it or anything, but it seems to be just a simple talent show. The show is pretty much all about the singing, with no artificial "human drama" (read: contestants bitching about each other behind the other person's back) put in. While I don't care about a show devoted to generating more bubblegum pop acts, it doesn't offend me like every other reality show.

That is, until now.

So:

Dear American Idol,

STOP FREAKING PREEMPTING HOUSE WITH YOUR GODDAMN 2 HOUR SPECIALS!!!11!11!one!1!!!eleven!1!

Thank you,

Wiley

A Growing Problem

2006-03-20T11:07:00.000-06:00

Michael Crichton wrote a great article in the New York Times about the growing ridiculousness of American patent law. This country is going to have to come to a serious reckoning very soon on the subject of Intellectual Property. I may be annoyed by HBO threatening to sue me over shifting a few bits around the network, but there are things far worse. My mother recently had her gall bladder removed. But what if her doctor had not been able to tell her the result of the test to determine that because someone else held a patent on that diagnosis?

I do understand the need for patents. It is entirely reasonable to protect an idea long enough for a company to produce a product and start making money. However, when a company can file patents and put them in a drawer waiting to sue someone who actually figures out how to implement them ( NPT vs. Blackberry); Microsoft can patent "A method, comprising: selecting pixels to be used as an emoticon; assigning a character sequence to the pixels; and transmitting the character sequence to a destination to allow for reconstruction of the pixels at the destination" ( Smiley Face Patent); and, as mentioned in Crichton's article, a company can patent a link between elevated homocysteine levels and vitamin deficiency, something needs to be done.

I'm a criminal

2006-03-18T09:11:00.000-06:00

Notice of Action under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act

Abuse Incident Number: ******************
Report Date/Time: Fri, 17 Mar 2006 00:55:53 -0500

Dear Comcast High-Speed Internet Subscriber:

Comcast has received a notification of claimed infringement made under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (the 'DMCA'). This notification, made by a copyright owner or its authorized agent, reports an alleged infringement of one or more copyrighted works made on or over Comcast's High-Speed Internet service (the 'Service'). The works identified in the notification of claimed infringement are listed below. In accordance with the DMCA and Comcast's Acceptable Use Policy, Comcast request that you immediately remove the allegedly infringing works from the Service or Comcast will be forced to remove or block access to the works.

If you believe in good faith that the allegedly infringing works have been removed or blocked by mistake or misidentification, then you may send a counter notification to Comcast. Upon Comcast's receipt of a counter notification that satisfies the requirements of the DMCA, Comcast will provide a copy of the counter notification to the party who sent the original notification of claimed infringement. We will then follow the DMCA's procedures with respect to a received counter notification.

For more information regarding Comcast's copyright infringement policy, procedures, and contact information, please read our Acceptable Use Policy by clicking on the Terms of Service link at http://www.comcast.net.

Sincerely,
Comcast Network Abuse and Observance Team

Copyright work(s) identified in the notification of claimed infringement:

Infringing Work: Sopranos, The

Filepath: The.Sopranos.S06E01.HDTV.XviD

-LOL.avi.torrent
Filename: The.Sopranos.S06E01.HDTV.XviD-LOL.avi
First Found: 15 Mar 2006 21:21:52 EST (GMT -0500)
Last Found: 15 Mar 2006 21:21:52 EST (GMT -0500)
Filesize: 359,276k
IP Address: ***.***.***.***
IP Port: 6881
Network: BTPeers
Protocol: BitTorrent

Mamma always said you'd be the chosen one. . .

2006-03-15T23:34:00.000-06:00

Welcome back, Tony.

You've been away far too long. Oh sure, I've been making do, hanging out with Jack Bauer, Greg House, Larry David, the Bluth family, and that group on that fucked up island. But you're the one I really need.

No one else can match your intensity, you power, your machismo. You are a flawed, but beautiful human being, and I thank you for it.

Oh, and sorry about that thing with Uncle June. I hope it all works out all right.

Yours truly,

Wiley

And the Oscar Goes To . . .

2006-03-06T09:19:00.000-06:00

Even though I do complain about how lame it is, I watch the Oscars almost every year. I do this even though It has been several years since what I thought was the best film of the year was even nominated. Please, tell me what film was better than Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind last year, and don't you dare say Million Dollar Baby. So, without further ado, here is a quick hit list of things that I liked about this year's Oscarcast.

Dick Cheney accidentally shooting Bjork.
Jon Stewart's man-crush on George Clooney. Which was immediately backed up by . . .
George Clooney's acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actor. Easily the second best speech of the night.
Negative campaigning for Best Actress . Steven Colbert is a genius.
Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep presenting Robert Altman with the lifetime achievement award. I could have watched them carry on like that for an hour.
Jon Stewart making fun of the president of the Academy.
The Three 6 Mafia winning Best Original Song. They showed more excitement over winning than all the other winners put together.
"Martin Scorsese - Zero Oscars, Three 6 Mafia - One Oscar" Best line of the night.

But, not everybody's cheeks were flaked with God-dust. Here's what I wasn't a fan of.

The crowd during Stewart's opening monologue. Come on, the guy was funny. He deserves more than polite laughter and applause.
Film clip choice during some of the montages. The Day After Tomorrow crammed in between All the President's Men and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner during the "Relevant Socio-political Films" montage? Give me a break.
No Don Knotts during the Memorial segment. I know he's more well known as a TV actor, but he did make movies and is one of the most beloved figures in Hollywood.
The constant pro-theater promotion. Yes, I enjoy watching movies on the big screen. But until you install cell-phone jammers and nix all the commercials, my 33 inch wide screen television and surround sound audio system are more than adequate.
No Joaquin Phoenix for Best Actor. I know this was probably the deepest competition of the night. And I love Philip Seymour Hoffman, and am sure he was spectacular in Capote, which I really want to see. But I happened to come across a real live Johnny Cash concert on CMT this weekend and was reminded again just how well Phoenix nailed him.

And now for a moment on Best Picture. Crash is the only one of the five that I've actually seen so far, and of course it won. And my main reaction was "eh". Don't get me wrong, I really liked Crash. But I just find it hard to believe that it was the best of the five. It seems to me that Capote and Good Night and Good Luck are more likely to be remembered as "Great" ten years from now.

I'm not ready yet to say what I thought the best film of 2005 was. I'm pretty sure I haven't seen it yet. Hustle and Flow, Match Point, Jarhead, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, all the non-winning nominees, and a dozen more movies will have to work their way through my Netflix queue. And of course, the movies that I really loved like Sin City and Batman Begins never even had a chance. But on the whole, I enjoyed the show, and still think that any movie or actor even nominated is worth watching.

Libertarianism

2006-02-28T17:01:00.000-06:00

I stole this from a message board, but I liked it and it sums up a lot of my views.

I don't get food stamps, a welfare check, my kids don't go to public schools (I don't have any), but I pay taxes that go into these programs. My real estate tax goes straight to the school district. I don't use that service.
The majority of my taxes go towards causes, programs, or institutions whose services I neither need nor want, and a handful to which I have serious ethical and/or moral objections. But there's no recourse. If I say all of this and want my taxes lowered or changed so I can keep more of my own money, I'm called greedy. When somebody else wants my money for some purpose, they're just needy.

There Went 100 Hours of My Life . . .

2006-02-20T15:09:00.000-06:00

From time to time, I enjoy playing a good role playing game. Although I'm not an RPG junkie, like some of my friends, I've played my share. But, I am very discerning when it comes to RPGs. For me to devote dozens of hours to a video game, it has to be really freakin' good. I've been known to get fifteen or so hours into a game and then just quit playing because I'm not really having a lot of fun. This most recently happened to me with Star Ocean: Till the End of Time. That game had a fun battle system, but it couldn't overcome the bad voice acting, boring story, and ridiculous amount of time between save points.

On the other end of the spectrum, however, is the game that I just finished: Dragon Quest VIII. It took almost a hundred hours, but last night I finally finished off Rapthorne, the Lord of Darkness and saved the world. (Of course, I still need to beat the Monster Arena. And complete the Path of the Dragovinians. And find all of Princess Minnie's medals. And fill out King Trode's battle record. And . . . )

While it does take a serious commitment, I'd have to say that DQ8 is worth it. It's a prime example of the value of making sure a game is completely polished versus breaking new ground. DQ8 really doesn't have anything you haven't seen before (assuming you play RPGs). The storyline is very traditional. The battle system is quite simple. But the voice acting is very good. And while it certainly doesn't tax my PlayStation 2 in terms of graphics, it does look very slick and stylish. But, most importantly, it is just a lot of fun. The characters are balanced but unique. You never have to do any serious level grinding just to be able to attempt the next dungeon. The world is incredibly expansive and you can divert from the main story to do side quests pretty much whenever you want. It's just really well done.

So, I officially add Dragon Quest VIII to my shelf of RPGs worth the hours that it takes to beat them. It joins Might and Magic 3, Final Fantasy III (VI), Chrono Trigger, Baldur's Gate, Planescape:Torment, Final Fantasy VII, Skies of Arcadia, and Kingdom Hearts. If you like RPGs at all, set aside a few weeks of time, pick it up, and enjoy.

The Mountain is a Harsh Mistress

2006-02-14T09:11:00.000-06:00

For the first time in three years, I went snowboarding last weekend. While I had a blast, I'm still paying for it today, Tuesday morning.

First off, a big thank you to Scott, Kim, and Sung (and of course, honorary mention to Dude). I flew up to DC and spent the weekend with them. My idea of a good time has always been laying around, playing video games, watching movie, and grilling out. And that's exactly what we did on Saturday, as Mother Nature dropped a foot of snow on top of us, more than I had ever seen at one time.

While it was beautiful, it also caused a major problem for us Sunday morning when we got up to head to the slopes. The roads had already been cleared, but the parking lot had not. So we spent almost an hour with a snow shovel and salt, digging our way the 50 yards between us and the street.

But we did make it out, and it was worth it when we got to the mountain (Whitetail in southern Pennsylvania). The slopes were covered in fresh powder, something that I had only ever seen the time that I went skiing in Colorado, but never in the Appalachians. The only problem was that everyone and their brother also wanted to ski in the fresh snow, so the place was packed.

I was really surprised at how quickly I picked boarding back up. Like I said, it had been three years since the last time that I had gone. But on my first trip up the green slope, I didn't bust it while getting off the lift (which had always been a sore spot for me), and I made it all the way down without falling. But this presented a problem. I was obviously a little more adept than Scott or Kim (Sung declined the invitation, and can you really imagine Dude on a snowboard?). So I would go a little ahead, stop and wait for them to catch up, and repeat. So when we were back at the bottom, I had to take my leave of them and graduate myself to the blue slope. I did fairly well there too, so I eventually tried out the black diamond course, but that was a little above my skill. The steepness didn't bother me, but I'm not good enough at cutting back and forth quickly to handle moguls, which the hill was covered in.

So, I dropped back down to the blue course to try a different tactic to improve my skills. Off to one side, they had set up a mini slopestyle area. It had two jumps and two rails. I was nervous about trying to ride a rail on a rented board, so I decided to learn to jump. In this venture I failed. I wasn't beaten. I continued to attempt the jump all afternoon long. But, when we decided to leave, I had yet to successfully land one. Maybe next time. The jumping is what I'm really paying for right now too. I would probably be just a little sore from boarding, but I've got a nice purple bruise on my butt that makes sitting a little ginger right now. I also had a pretty spectacular face-plant, but thankfully I've had no ill effects from that.

When I woke up Monday morning to go catch my flight, I was surprised by how good I felt. But after sitting all day on the metro to the airport, at the concourse waiting to board, on the plane, and in my car coming down from Nashville, everything started to tighten up. It was definitely worth it though. I just wish I had somewhere close enough to go on a regular basis.

Freakin' CD Players

2006-02-10T10:41:00.000-06:00

So the CD player in my car died.

For those keeping count at home, it the fifth time its happened since I got my first one for my 17th birthday present. Considering I just celebrated my 25th, that's 5 in 8 years. Does anyone else have this kind of luck when it comes to car stereos? I've had really nice, expensive players and dirt cheapo ones, and it really doesn't seem to make a whole lot of difference.

I guess I should have seen this one coming, however. It's the unit that was in my car when I bought it, it has never played CDs without skipping incessantly, and about six months ago the display quit working. I should have replaced it a while ago, but hey, I'm a procrastinator.

And, to make matters worse, I've got to drive to Nashville this afternoon. So, anyone who happens to be on northbound I-65 today, watch out. There will be a black Civic who's driver won't be able to hear you because he's got his iPod plugged into his ears.

Lied to Again!!!

2006-02-06T11:49:00.000-06:00

I've been living in Huntsville for a little over two years now. In that time, snow has been forecast about 7 or 8 time. Each and every time, it has failed to snow. It did flurry once, but that's it. You think that I'd learn my lesson after a little while, but I get my hopes up every time.

I know that those of my readers who live in places where it snows often are sitting there thinking that it sounds like a pretty good problem to have. But, dammit, I like the snow. I don't want to be whited out for a week or anything, but a good dusting every now and then would be nice.

But, even though I'm a couple of hundred miles north of where I used to live, I'm still in Alabama, and I guess I'm stuck with just a miserable cold rain.

Podcasts

2006-02-01T12:50:00.000-06:00

As I think I've mentioned before, I'm a big fan of listening to podcasts. (Other than their name. Really, 'podcast' is my second least favorite word to come out of the current tech boom . . . second only to blog). For those not in the know, podcasts are kind of like a downloadable radio show. I've always liked talk radio, but I find it impossible to structure my schedule around listening to a radio program. It's hard enough to do that for TV shows (and thank God for DVRs). If you use the iTunes Music Store, you can subscribe to podcasts about pretty much any subject you can think of, all for free. They'll be automatically downloaded whenever a new episode is put out and you can either put them on your iPod or listen to them straight from your computer. They're great to listen to at work (as long as you can multitask) or to break out of the monotony of long car trips.

My favorite podcast is This Week in Tec h, which is put on by a bunch of former Tech TV show hosts. It's a weekly look at most of the top stories on the forefront of geek culture. While I already know most of the information that they talk about, they're still an entertaining bunch with interesting points of view. The reason that I bring all of this up is that I was at school before class started yesterday and someone mentioned something that they had heard on TWiT. I mentioned that I listened to the show as well. As did the two other people who were in the room. I thought that was pretty cool, to know that I'm not the only super-geek around.

Adwatch

2006-01-30T11:29:00.000-06:00

I know that I'm not "with it" or "hip" by any stretch of the imagination. Never have been. Something I've always been kinda proud of, actually. But, even with that as a given, I really don't get those PSP commercials with the mice. "Cheese you can listen too outside"? Huh?

Actually, what the commercial really reminds me of is a bunch of 30 something ad executives sitting around trying to figure out what is cool. "Oh, kids these days say 'hells yeah', so lets put that in our commercial." But the dialog between the rats always sounds forced, not natural. Whatever the case, they certainly aren't making me want to buy a PSP.

Center of the F'in Universe

2006-01-24T11:31:00.000-06:00

Andalusia is a small city in South-Central Alabama. For the first 18 years of my life I lived about 10 miles north of town in a small community called Gantt (I say I'm from Andalusia because people actually know where that is. Gantt? Not so much.) For much of the next 7 years, I have done my best to avoid the place. However, it becomes more and more clear that it will be impossible to do so. Why? Because Andalusia is center of the fucking universe.

Admittedly, I have lived my whole life in the state of Alabama. Although I have often considered it, I have never done anything radical like pick up and move to Denver or Seattle in order to get away. But even still, Andalusia is not that big. I currently live 300 miles away from the place, yet I still run into Andalusia connections all the time. Just the other day I was in the computer lab before class started talking to my professor and another classmate. The classmate had dated a girl from Andalusia. The professor's mother was from Andalusia. At my previous job, my boss's uncle lived in Andalusia. And I'll never forget the time I was having lunch at a nice restaurant in downtown Birmingham and in walked Johnny Dewrell (those fellow Straughn people will know how big a shock that must have been). Ask around my group of Auburn friends about how many people they knew from Huntsville, Birmingham, and Andalusia, and it will be a close contest.

Why am I bringing this up? It's because the phenomenon is spreading. It was recently brought to my attention that the runner-up at this year's Ms. America pageant, Alexa Jones, was from Andalusia. So watch out. You may all soon be bowing down to your new Andalusian overlords. And believe me, that's a scary thought.

Must Read

2006-01-12T09:30:00.000-06:00

I don't have much to say about this article, but it really is a must read for anyone who has a vested interest in Auburn University.

Hook 'Em

2006-01-04T23:37:00.000-06:00

I've always liked the University of Southern California's football
program. They have great tradition and a great team. And they
whipped Auburn's butt twice, which of course gets my respect. I also
do not blame them in any way for the giant screw-job the BCS did to
Auburn last year. But I am sooooo glad that Texas beat them in the
Rose Bowl.

I have no special love for UT. In fact, I still kind of hold a grudge
about them stealing our defensive coordinator last year. I also have
absolutely no respect for the Big 12, which is probably a worse
conference than the Big East. Maybe even the WAC.

So why am I glad Texas won? It was that idiotic 10 part series that
ESPN did last week where they decided that USC could beat any of the
top 10 college football teams of all time. How could you declare this
USC team the third best team ever when they haven't even won the
championship yet?

So good job Texas. Thank you for making all of the talking heads on
ESPN look stupid (not that they'll ever admit it).

A Statement of Purpose

2005-12-18T18:09:00.000-06:00

##NOTE: As many of you know, I'm planning on going back to Auburn to work on my PhD. One of the things required for application is a statement of purpose. I thought that you, my loyal readers (crickets - *chirp*chirp*), might enjoy reading it. ##

As a son, nephew, and grandson in a family of teachers, there has been a high value put on education my entire life. Whether it was my mother teaching me to read even before starting kindergarten or my uncle letting me sit in during his college classes as a Jr. High student, I have never thought of education as a goal to be reached. Education is a lifelong process. So, be it in school, at work, or in my personal life, I always strive to learn as much and as often as possible. That is why I seek to validate that process with the highest degree available in my field.

When I graduated from Auburn two and a half years ago, I went back and forth on whether or not to continue my education with graduate school. I eventually decided to look for a job, while keeping open the option of eventually going back to school. That search was not as fruitful as I had hoped, and six months later I found myself back in college at the University of Alabama at Huntsville, enrolled in their Masters Program. I did eventually find a job, and have since dropped down to a part time student. But I will earn my master’s degree this May. While I have enjoyed my experience at UAH and at my job, it has really fostered my desire to become a full time student again, and to really devote my time and effort toward earning a doctoral degree.

At both my job and at school, I have recently become involved in the subject of information assurance. That is why I am very interested in what Dr. Hamilton is doing with the Information Assurance Laboratory. I have done a little bit of work with intrusion detection systems and using them to detect insider threats to a network. I have several interesting ideas in that area which I can hopefully develop into a dissertation.

The real question, then, is why Auburn. I have a good job and a good relationship with my professors at UAH. I could easily continue my education where I am. But anyone who has ever attended or been involved with Auburn knows that it is a special place. There is a sense of community there that I have never felt anywhere else. I had a wonderful experience with my professors as an undergraduate. The truth is that I want to come back to Auburn because I believe in Auburn, and love it.

Bias

2005-12-13T18:30:00.000-06:00

So I'm sitting here at my computer with the TV on in the background. The NBC station's local news is on. (BTW, why are all of Huntsville's local news stations crap? Usually a town has at least one decent one.) The sports report comes up. They're talking about how Alabama and Auburn have started practicing for their bowls. They show a clip from the Iron Bowl. All good right?

The clip that they chose was Prechae Rodriguez getting stripped of the ball and Alabama recovering.

Not any one of our 11 sacks. Not any of our 4 touchdowns. Not even anything to indicate that we won the game.

I know Bama people (rightly) accuse Auburn of having a little brother syndrome, but come on!!!

I Feel the Spirit Swelling In Me (at least I think it's the spirit)

2005-12-06T21:46:00.000-06:00

So I'm sitting here watching the Victoria's Secret fashion show. Yes, scandalous, I know. Anyway, while doing so, I have had an epiphany. This is truly the reason that God invented High Definition Television.

I mean, really, who else besides the Lord could be responsible for such a marvel. It's right there in the Bible. "On the seventh day, God kicked back with his 52 inch plasma screen." It's just always been mistranslated, mostly because the ancient Hebrew scholars had never heard of such a thing.

God created the HDTV so that we could see every sequin, feather, and bit of lace on the sexiest woman alive (Adriana Lima) and all of her friends. It's all so clear in my mind. I must spread this message to the masses. It all starts here. Now I just need to find some disciples. And they'll have to look good in a thong.

I Shot a Man in Reno, Just To Watch Him Die

2005-12-02T22:06:00.000-06:00

In my earlier ranting about the suckiness of the latest Harry Potter movie, I neglected to mention that I also saw Walk The Line over Thanksgiving. While it wasn't a great movie, it's worth seeing for the tremendous performances by Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon. It has the same general problem that I have with most bio-pics; that is, poor pacing and the fact that real people just aren't as interesting to me as fictional ones. But then, I'm weird like that.

But, as a result of watching the movie, I came straight home and downloaded Johnny Cash's live "At Folsom Prison" album. (Shame on you Griffin, for not already having it when I stole your Cash collection). And I've listened to it about two hundred thirty seven times in the week that has passed. Seriously. Cocaine Blues is playing right now. It's an amazing album. I don't care if you like country or not, if you don't respect the passion in that performance, there's something wrong with you.

Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

2005-11-29T12:00:00.000-06:00

Short review: I didn't like it.

Ok potter heads, calm down.

First, let's review my opinions of the first three. I enjoyed The Sorcerer's Stone, although I thought it had an absolutely despicable ending that still pisses me off. I thought that The Chamber of Secrets and The Prisoner of Azkaban were both very good movies, with maybe a slight edge to Chamber. I should also mention that I have never read any of the books.

Nearly all of my friends who have read the books consider Goblet of Fire to be the best of the whole series, so I had high hopes going into the theater. And when I came out, I felt reasonably satisfied with it. But, after letting it stew for almost a week, my opinion has decreased significantly. Although I didn't like then end of the first movie, I have felt that the three previous movies were Complete Films. That is, without having the novels to reference, I didn't feel like there was more information that I needed to see that wasn't there. That wasn't the case with this film. Part of it may not have been able to be helped, since the novel The Goblet of Fire was about twice as long as any of the previous ones, but the movie was the same length. But I still think that any movie should work on its own terms, regardless of the source.

The biggest thing that bothered me was the treatment of Sirius Black. The end of Azkaban set up Harry and Sirius's relationship to be very important. And, while Harry has one conversation with him early in this film, he is never mentioned or heard from again. If he's still in hiding or whatever, it wouldn't have bothered me for him to be left out, but to introduce him and then completely drop the storyline didn't make much sense to me.

I also thought that Ralph Fiennes was absolutely terrible as Voldemort. After four movies worth of build-up over how dark and terrible he was, he actually came off as kind of sniveling and
annoying. I guess that's just my opinion, but it just didn't impress me at all.

I wasn't very impressed with the director either. After how wonderfully moody Azkaban was, this film just seemed drab. The CG was terrible at times (especially the underwater scenes). I also thought it was a step back in terms of acting, especially for Emma Watson as Hermione, who was great in Azkaban and just kind of annoying here.

I also continue to be bothered by the thing that almost ruined the first movie for me. That is, Harry keeps getting advantages just because he is "Harry Potter". In this movie, he only won the Tri-Wizard Tournament because he has someone cheating for him, and was out-right given a co-first place in a competition that he finished last in, just because he's Harry Potter. A hero should overcome adversity, not back his way into things as Harry continues to do.

So I'm sure that all you Harry Potter fans will explain to me why I'm wrong, but this movie, unlike the other three, just wasn't a Film, it was a Book Report. Add to that the decrease in quality of acting and directing, and that makes the least effective movie of the series.

Thank God for Bama

2005-11-18T08:45:00.000-06:00

Thank God for Bama. They are our purifying filter as they siphon out all the redneck, uneducated, crystal meth producers in "Alabama the Beautiful." The legend of the Bear is like a mosquito zapper for white trash, sucking them in and metaphorically killing them by trapping them in a past of tradition and a future of mediocrity, and we here at Auburn are better because of it. Being a Bama fan in Alabama is like being in a really inane and incredibly ignorant cult, while we, the Auburn fans, kind of step back and say, "Are you guys kidding?" and watch them go crazy and know that while we're not the majority we'll probably have more fulfilling lives and at the very least not have to remove our own manlihood to appease a spaceman living in Haley's commit (or the Bear in this instance). Yes we should all be thankful for Bama, our clean ventilation, or else we would be stuck breathing dirty air here in East Alabama.

**Can't claim this one. Stolen from here.**

BCS Math

2005-11-15T11:29:00.000-06:00

I've been bored today at work, so I've been sitting here mulling Auburn's chances of getting to a BCS Bowl (If they beat Bama but don't get to the SEC championship game). While the chances are pretty slim, it is possible. I've actually come up with several convoluted scenarios, but there is only one that makes a lot of sense. Notre Dame has to lose.

Right now, the PAC-10, Big 10, ACC, and SEC are all fighting over 1 at large big (the Big 12 and Big East are joke conferences this year and stand no chance of sending two teams). This is due to Notre Dame's ridiculous contract with the BCS that basically assures them a spot if they ever have less than three losses (they're 7-2 right now).

I'm assuming than the current conference leaders all win out. That would result in:

Rose Bowl: USC vs. Texas
Sugar Bowl: LSU vs ?
Orange Bowl: Miami vs ?
Fiesta Bowl: ? vs ?

Teams with Guaranteed spots: Penn St., Notre Dame, West Va.

The bowl selection order this year (since the Fiesta will lose Texas to the National Championship Rose Bowl) will be: Fiesta, Orange, Fiesta, Sugar.

The Fiesta will most likely use it's first choice to take either Notre Dame or Penn St., and the Orange will grab up the other. That will leave the Fiesta to chose either West Va. or an at large team. The likely pool of at large candidates is: 10-1 Oregon, 10-1 Va. Tech, 9-2 Auburn, or 9-2 Ohio St. (Alabama, Texas Tech, and UCLA will also be 9-2, but will all likely be less than the required 12th in BCS rank). Out of those choices, they would most likely pick Oregon based on regional proximity. West Va. would then go to the Sugar Bowl.

But, let's say that Notre Dame loses another game. That would eliminated them from contention. Then the Fiesta would take Penn St. with their first pick, and the next move would belong to the Orange Bowl. They probably would not take Oregon, because it's on the other side of the country. They also would probably pass on West Va. (poor Big East . . .no one wants them). They couldn't take Va Tech because that would be an ACC vs. ACC pairing, which is against the rules. So they would get to pick between Auburn and Ohio St. Now, I know that Ohio St. has a larger fan base, but Auburn has more regional appeal. Also, it's not a given that Ohio St. will beat Michigan, so a loss there would leave Auburn standing almost alone.

Of course, I'm making a lot of assumptions. The biggest is that LSU will beat Georgia in the SEC title game. If Georgia wins, then any second SEC bid would fall to LSU instead of Auburn. Also, if Miami loses another game they wouldn't win the ACC, but would be a more powerful at large candidate than Va. Tech. And of course, if either Texas or USC lose, it will completely change the selection order, and all bets are off.

But for now, in addition to my Auburn colors, I will be cheering for Michigan, Syracuse, and Stanford.

My Eyes! My Eyes!

2005-11-02T09:42:00.000-06:00

I'm certainly no fashionista, but the jerseys that Florida wore last Saturday to the Coctail Party have to be the ugliest ones this side of Oregon's Neo Yellow atrocities.

Happy All Saint's Day

2005-11-01T09:54:00.000-06:00

I meant to post this last night, being Halloween and all, but I forgot.

Anyway, I was in Auburn this past weekend for the Ole Miss game and of course to see the Dude who was gracing everyone with his presence. That evening, I went to a couple of Halloween parties (one at Joel and Kristi's, one at Jessi and Ian's, great times at both!). They were costume parties, and I hadn't really planned or been working on a costume in advance, so I couldn't do anything as cool as my Black Mage outfit from a couple of years ago. However, I may have come up with my most creative costume ever.

I bought a child's tiger costume from Wal-Mart. I stuffed it with clothes and a sheet, and tied it to my waist with my belt. I then took a white T-Shirt and with a black Sharpie I wrote the letters BCS.

So, for Halloween, I was the BCS screwing Auburn.

It was well received.

You know the difference between a dentist and a sadist, don't you?

2005-10-19T21:56:00.000-05:00

I hate going to the dentist. Years and years of having them poke and drill and grind will do that to you. (And all in the name of cosmetics too. I've never had a cavity.) It's something that I've neglected ever since I moved to Huntsville, and as a result I have gotten some kind of gum infection. Pretty gross stuff that I won't go into the details of, but needless to say, it hasn't been a pleasant experience.

But while I was in the waiting room today, I noticed something strange. There was a coke machine in the corner. With Coca-Cola. It has long been my understanding that soft drinks (along with Halloween candy) are one of the worst things that you can do to your teeth. Especially Coca-Cola, which is essentially battery acid cut with syrup.

I didn't ask anyone about it, but it still seemed strange to me. Maybe it's his way of ensuring repeat customers. Or maybe it's just the lure of the almighty buck. But I'm sure the hygienists enjoy having kids open their mouths with a fresh layer of sticky brown syrup clinging to their teeth . . .

A Blow To My Ego

2005-10-13T21:22:00.000-05:00

I am a Jeopardy fanatic.

I come home every day for lunch so I can watch it at 12:30.

I do this because I enjoy testing my knowledge and learning things that I didn't know. This is contrary to the common belief that I just like to show off how smart I am. (Ok, there's a little of that too).

As such, I hate kid's week. It really does nothing for me to run an entire board when the questions are that easy. For the most part, the only clues that I don't know are ones involving children's literature written after 1990. I'm not bragging, that's just how it is.

But I still watch, because, like I said, I'm a fanatic.

And today the unthinkable happened. I didn't know the question for Final Jeopardy. "This hobby's name is derived from the Greek words for 'light' and 'writing'". The correct response is, of course, "What is photography?" I should have known it, but I drew a blank. I couldn't think of the Greek root for light. Terrible.

But, at least, none of the snot-nosed little brats got it right either.