Wednesday, October 19, 2005

You know the difference between a dentist and a sadist, don't you?

I hate going to the dentist. Years and years of having them poke and drill and grind will do that to you. (And all in the name of cosmetics too. I've never had a cavity.) It's something that I've neglected ever since I moved to Huntsville, and as a result I have gotten some kind of gum infection. Pretty gross stuff that I won't go into the details of, but needless to say, it hasn't been a pleasant experience.

But while I was in the waiting room today, I noticed something strange. There was a coke machine in the corner. With Coca-Cola. It has long been my understanding that soft drinks (along with Halloween candy) are one of the worst things that you can do to your teeth. Especially Coca-Cola, which is essentially battery acid cut with syrup.

I didn't ask anyone about it, but it still seemed strange to me. Maybe it's his way of ensuring repeat customers. Or maybe it's just the lure of the almighty buck. But I'm sure the hygienists enjoy having kids open their mouths with a fresh layer of sticky brown syrup clinging to their teeth . . .

Thursday, October 13, 2005

A Blow To My Ego

I am a Jeopardy fanatic.

I come home every day for lunch so I can watch it at 12:30.

I do this because I enjoy testing my knowledge and learning things that I didn't know.  This is contrary to the common belief that I just like to show off how smart I am.  (Ok, there's a little of that too).

As such, I hate kid's week.  It really does nothing for me to run an entire board when the questions are that easy.  For the most part, the only clues that I don't know are ones involving children's literature written after 1990.  I'm not bragging, that's just how it is.

But I still watch, because, like I said, I'm a fanatic.

And today the unthinkable happened.  I didn't know the question for Final Jeopardy.  "This hobby's name is derived from the Greek words for 'light' and 'writing'".  The correct response is, of course, "What is photography?"  I should have known it, but I drew a blank.  I couldn't think of the Greek root for light.  Terrible.

But, at least, none of the snot-nosed little brats got it right either.


Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Sooie!!!

So tell me this isn't the bitchiest thing you've ever heard.

I was going to suggest to my friends that we all pitch in together and order the pay-per-view of the Arkansas game this Saturday. But, it turns out that the athletic department at Arkansas are a bunch of little bitches (not pigs, as previously thought), so that's not an option.

Auburn called them up and asked if we could put the game on Auburn Network's PPV. They said, no, that they wouldn't allow PPV unless the game was a sell-out. So Auburn offered to buy up the rest of their unsold tickets. They said no, that they still didn't want to put the game on PPV because Auburn has a contract with ESPN which would put the game on GamePlan, which would let people in Arkansas stay home instead of going to the game (which is BS). Auburn then offered to pay ESPN to blackout the game for Arkansas and Eastern Texas markets. Then Arkansas just cut off all discussions.

And on top of all this, two times in the last ten years, Auburn has broadcast it's own ppv (in the pre-ESPN GamePlan era) to Arkansas markets for our home games that weren't on TV.

So, we will go back into the dark ages and listen to the game on the radio. How un-21st century.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Strange Weather, Man

Yesterday I was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, today its jeans and a sweater.