Friday, April 28, 2006


The other day I just happened to be perusing the Federal Sentencing Guidelines and found this very interesting document.  Did you know that the average sentence for arson is 60 months?  Or that the average sentence for sexual assault is 73 months?  Counterfeiting is 12 months and auto theft is 60.

Given these guidelines, it certainly makes perfect sense that under a new bill being introduced to Congress that you can get 10 years (120 months) for small scale, non-commercial copyright infringement*.  I mean, sharing a few songs or movies is the moral equivalent of kidnapping/hostage taking (also 120 months), isn't it?

There is only one thing about this that I find kind of strange.  The average sentence for burglary is just 24 months.  So, you'd be better off robbing Best Buy than using Bit Torrent.

*Yes, I know that I'm comparing a maximum sentence to average sentences, but still . . .

Monday, April 24, 2006

A Thank You

I just want to give major kudos to Griffin Smith who designed my cool new banner that's at the top of the page.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Where's Waldo

I guess that Matt and Trey really did get the last laugh.

Mohammad had appeared in the opening credits of every episode this season. See if you can find him.

P.S. For those who watched tonight's episode, didn't Oprah's asshole remind you of Mr. Humphreys from "Are You Being Served?".

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

A Jihad on Me

Last week on South Park, they did an episode about the Dutch Mohammad cartoon scandal.  At the end of the episode, when it came time to actually show Mohammad, they instead showed a message that said "Comedy Central has refused to broadcast an image of Mohammad on their network".  I, as well as most people who watched the episode, thought that this was a gag.  That they were being ironic in doing an episode about how wrong censorship was, and then censoring something.

That is incorrect.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker fully intended to show Mohammad.  Comedy Central really did censor the clip.  If you want to risk a Jihad being called down on your head, see the uncensored clip for yourself.

I really don't know what to say about this.  It is just wrong on so many levels.  I just can't believe Matt and Trey haven't been making a bigger stink about this.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

A Real Man's Solution

I've talked before about my anti-social tendencies.  As a result, the sum total of my social interaction with my neighbors is me spying on them through the cracks in my blinds.  Don't judge me.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon, I heard the guy across the street from me cussing up a storm and beating his lawn mower (a dinky little push mower) with a wrench.  It appeared that he was about halfway through with his lawn when it quit on him.  And it wasn't responding to his resuscitation efforts.

Fast forward twenty-four hours.  I hear a mower going, so I take a peak outside.  He now has a brand new riding lawn mower.  And not just one of those push-mower-with-a-seat things either.  This is a John Deer tractor with a mower deck.  It is so big and has such a large turning radius that he has to cheat into the road just to get it turned around after every pass.

That, my friends, is how a real man solves problems.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

A Step Too Far

Warning. There be spoilers here. I know that as many as two or three of my tens of readers watch the show 24 on DVD, so you might want to watch out about finding out something that you didn't want to know.

I watch the show 24, and have ever since the very beginning. Yes, I know that the show can be kind of cheesy and extremely unrealistic at times, and is about politics that under normal circumstances I would disagree with. But, to me, enjoying 24 is a lot like enjoying McDonald's chicken nuggets. They're really good as long as you don't think about them too much.

The best thing about 24 is, of course, its main character, Jack Bauer. I really love the fact that a major network airs a show who's protagonist has murdered two people in cold blood, once executed one of his co-workers simply to stall for time with a group of terrorists, and decapitated an otherwise innocent drug dealer just so he could carry the head around in a duffel bag to impress bad guys while he was under cover. He is the very definition of a solutions-oriented person. And just maybe a bit of a sociopath.

And I've always forgiven the show's unrealism. I don't mind the fact that they barely pay lip service to travel time, because I don't particularly care about seeing Jack stuck in Los Angeles rush hour gridlock for two episodes. I think its cool that Jack can be shot, blown up, tortured, etc, and still keep going for twenty-four hours straight. I've even bought the ridiculously convoluted plots that the terrorists come up with, because they have to make a full season out of it.

But last night, they took it a step too far. This season had been going really well so far. Every episode kept ratcheting up the tension. The death count was ridiculously high (5 "opening title" type characters, including 4 who have been around multiple seasons are no longer with the show). But last night, they threw in a twist that came from so far out of left field . . . No forget that, this show was playing baseball and this twist came off the football field. And I love a good Kyser Soze, Tyler Durden, redefine everything that came before it type twist. But in both of those cases the twist was effective because you realized that it made sense. The one last night didn't. Not even remotely. I've been thinking about it all night, and I cannot think of anything that would have foreshadowed this. In fact, every action that this character has taken so far this season is directly contrary to what was revealed.

Of course, I'll still watch the show. I'm hopelessly addicted. But they better come up with a damn good explanation of why last night's episode makes sense.